My Take on the World

Everybody was kung fu fighting...

2006-05-26T15:11:00.001-05:00

I have that song stuck in my head. I am maybe a little hyper today and I am stuck at work until SIX P.M.! Arg... It's definitely for a good cause, though, this being stuck in the office an extra hour. Tonight is girls night dinner. Hmm... good food that I didn't cook! And I get to eat with people that I'm maybe not frustrated with because they ruined their brand new pants the first time they wore them to work. See... I'm digressing already...

For the record, the person that has already ruined his new pants, does not know that I began writing this again. If he did, I would see him tonight and he would say something to the effect of "you said it didn't bother you that the pants have black stuff all over my butt and that even though you spent scrubbing time with them and the Shout bottle, they still have black stuff all over the butt, but I see you'll complain about it on your blog."

And I would say... "blogging is not complaining... it's venting. Please be accurate."

I'm not really upset per se that the strange black marks do not appear to want to leave the brand new khakis that I bought him on sale at Old Navy this past weekend when I actually managed to enter an Old Navy during a sale and only look for pants for him and not even attempt to shop for me. I'm just sad. Those were nice pants. I mean not super nice or he would not be allowed to wear them to work. Because, I have taken over his wardrobe. He said this would not happen, but alas.... it has.... I win, I win!

Anyway....

Maybe there is something to his theory of buying cheap Khakis at Wal-Mart for him to wear to work. Don't tell him that, though. I wouldn't want him to think that he knows more than me. That wouldn't be good.

See... I bought him decent Old Navy khakis for work because they are thicker fabric than the Wal-Mart variety and I thought maybe they'd last longer. Boy was I monumentally wrong. I forgot about the strange black marks factor. And furthermore... how did he manage to sit in it?? Nevermind...

Having a boy living in Chez Girl Town is changing my life just a bit. I have comic book action figures there now. They have their own room... yes... the back guest room that was previously only used to throw things that I had no idea what to do with into and shut the door. We will refer to that as "man land". Man Land is his territory. I reserve 1 bookshelf and some floor space for a laundry rack in Man Land, but otherwise it is BFJ's domain. He can hang all of the kung fu posters (hmmmm... wonder if that's why I have that song stuck in my head) in there that his little heart so desires. Oh, I get to use the computer, too. Hey... I let him use the rest of the house, so I think we're even.

BFJ has also decided to take pity on Bob The Godfish and start feeding him again. See... I was a little bit PO'd at Bob. He ate Ted! Yes, Ted. Bob's cannabalism is up to 9 fish now. The pet store assured me that Bob should not be doing this... but he is so what do you have to say for yourselves now Uncle Bill's Pet Center?

Bob's tank has been moved to Man Land. I do not appreciate psycho cannabalistic fish in my living room. So BFJ saved Bob... Isn't BFJ sweet?

Well, I better go. I need to finish a few things up before I'm done for the day!

I'm back! Yes, that's a threat...

2006-05-24T09:13:00.000-05:00

Well, after several nervous break downs, technical difficulties (I actually couldn't get into my own blog for a few weeks! Weird!), a promotion at work, a new car and moving, I'm back!

We'll start with the new car, because frankly... that caused many of the other items to be discussed herein.

I am sad to report the death of Taury... my white Taurus. I took Taury into Ford because she was making some weird noise and jerking combination. I was told she had a lot of little issues, but with a small surgery (a new brake line) and some meds (a transmission flush), she'd live. So Ford kept her for 3 whole days. I got Taury back on a Monday night. Tuesday on the way to work, she seemed a little sluggish, but I just thought she was tired. I mean, after all... she'd been through a LOT in the last few days. That night on the way home from work... she protested during the entire trip! I did manage to get us home. I pulled into the driveway, put the car in park, got out and got the mail, got back into the car and put the car in drive and it rolled BACKWARDS! NOT GOOD!

There was much crying when I called Ford. By the time BFJ and Daddy came to look at the car, I was in full on nervous breakdown mode and they were (I believe) afraid to look me in the eye. There was a lot of quiet discussion between them and then they attempted to take my car the 1.2 miles south to Ford. BFJ and Daddy ended up pushing it that last .2 of the trip.

Taury then spend another 4 days in Ford where it was determined that she would need a whole new transmission if I was to keep her. This was going to cost approximately 3 times what she was worth if she were in perfect condition.

Needless to say, I have a new car. BFJ and I made our first major purchase together and Ford gave me a very sweet deal on a 2006 Taurus with only 2000 miles on it! Wow... I have so many places to take this new car. BFJ took it to Kansas this weekend, but I didn't get to go with them, so I will have to "road-trip baptize" this car soon. I should name it too... If you have suggestions for good names for the new car, please let me know. It's a metallic light brown. Kind of a mocha color.

Next major issue... MONEY... needless to say the aforementioned car troubles were not free. Half of the wedding monies were used to make the car situation right again and there was very nearly not a wedding. I mean, we were still going to get married, but more Vegas-style. Some major changes happened in order to accomodate Taury's untimely death...

BFJ moved into my house. I moved home.

It has been amazingly NOT WEIRD for me to have BFJ living in my home. Normally, I'm not overly fond of people being in my home. I've been making strides this past year to attempt to overcome my disdain for people being in my home, but it was only about half working. I had knitting nights and let other people see the back rooms of my home. And these people still came back for subsequent knitting nights, letting me know that even though Martha Stewart I will NEVER be... they still loved me! Wow!

I still thought (and so did everyone else) that I would not be able to deal with BFJ occupying the home. I'm sure there was some pool on which day would I crack and make him live in the garage... but it hasn't happened.

AND.... I even cried when he left for Kansas and couldn't stay at the home without him. I was pathetic! I was depressed and moody the whole first day and a half he was gone. I finally got used to it, though, and survived the big long 3 days that he was gone. And things are right in the home again... ;).

I've been staying with the 'rents during all of this and this arrangement is supposed to last until the wedding. Although my Dad made some comment about what we would do when the kids came home from Memphis that made me think I would be losing my room. Because that would be typical. I would lose something because of something Brian did. Normal....

How do I feel about staying with them... bored. I feel like I'm not allowed to do anything. It's weird. It's not my home anymore. I'm not used to reporting on where I am. No... I don't call BFJ and tell him where I'm going after work usually unless I'm not going to be home by the time he gets there. I mention it, but there's not usually an obligation to tell. He tells me most of the time, but that's because I get there first! Ha!

Well, the make a long story longer... I am getting financial amnesty from Dad for a wedding gift. He is not making me pay him back for the car repairs and downpayments, etc. The wedding is back on! :)

Well, I better get back to work. Lunch is officially over I'm sure. Have a great day people!

Which Muppet are you?

2006-03-15T09:07:00.000-05:00

I Am Scooter

Brainy and knowledgable, you are the perfect sidekick.
You're always willing to lend a helping hand.
In any big event or party, you're the one who keeps things going.
"15 seconds to showtime!"

I think this explains a LOT, doesn't it?

BFJ is Animal

A complete lunatic, you're operating on 100% animal instincts.
You thrive on uncontrolled energy, and you're downright scary.
But you sure can beat a good drum.
"Kill! Kill!"

The Muppet Personality Test

Have a good day!

Happiness Is...

2006-03-14T15:21:00.000-05:00

I am having a bad day here at work. It's just one of those days. It's not horrible enough for me to go home, but not good either. I believe a comibination of the new medication (yes, I took it again - later) and wedding planning is making me a hateful person. So I will now recap what Happiness Is to me today.

1. Getting a hold of a real human being at Wells Fargo who can simply give me the phone number of someone in their legal department. Seriously, I was transferred NINE (9) TIMES! At one point, I accidentally ended up in the stock holder investment department!!! NOT GOOD! I spent 40 minutes on the phone to get... (drum roll please)... voice mail. Woo hoo! I hope she calls me back or I'll have to do it all over again tomorrow. Although, knowing who I need to talk to was half the battle, so it wouldn't be too bad to have to call back tomorrow. Still.... good times, good times...

2. Figuring out how to cast on for my niece's hat for her birthday. I have exactly a week, so it should be done way ahead of schedule. Her scarf is already done!

3. Sitting with BFJ. Anywhere... Anytime... with my head on his shoulder. He has an uncanny ability to calm the craziness, which is me.

4. Knowing the Water Bill is paid, paid correctly, paid ontime and not lost in Indiana-American Water's vast network of payment centers somewhere in Illinois. They never got my payment last month. It came out of my bank account and went... apparently nowhere.... Nice, huh?

5. Having a Coke & a Smile... remember that commercial? So I was swearing off sodas until after the wedding (I bought a dress that has still still fit 8.5 months from now or 255 days, however you want to do the count) so I could stop gaining weight, but Wells Fargo killed it for me and I needed a Coke.

6. Salad... Mmmm... Yummy... salad... (See the above note about the wedding dress.)

7. Knowing that in 3 weeks, I am taking a long weekend and going away. I hadn't decided if I was going to go to Pittsburgh to see my cousin, but I need a break from the wedding craziness. I'm going to go. I'll have fun. I want to see my cousin.

8. A beach... any beach... and being on it... ya, that would make me happy.

9. All of my client's applications being magically approved within a week of the application. This would be a fairy tale except maybe it happened once in January so I have hope. Not all of my clients being approved, but an approval happening in a week!

10. Having 4 different types of cheesecake at your wedding reception. Neat, huh?

O.k. that's all kids. I'm done taking the new migraine medication, btw. I know I said I'd explain... See... I took it 2 hours earlier and started feeling drowsy within about an hour of taking it, slept through my alarm, had to think about how to write my own initials and had, well... a little headache... So I'm not taking it anymore. End of story. It's not worth it. The medication that is supposed to keep me from getting migraines gives me a small headache... Hmmmm... irony?

Have a good day everyone!

Pretty lights...

2006-03-13T09:38:00.000-05:00

I've been slacking, I know. My boss is gone this week and so the week leading up to him leaving is always insanity defined.

Last week, my little problem with Migraines became a big problem that needs a solution when I had to leave work because I couldn't handle light or noise. So I went to my Doc who said "Are you ready for something stronger?" (He's been trying to get me to admit I need a perscription for about 6 months. I hate taking medicine!) I said "It's time."

So now I have a little pill I take before I go to bed and Imitrex in the event I actually get a Migraine. My instructions from my Doc are Take 1 the first night, if you feel like you have a hangover the next morning, only take 1 a night. If it doesn't effect you, take 2 the next night. If it doesn't effect you, take 3. Stop at 3. Needless to say if you know my history with medication, 1 was enough. Granted, I took it at 11:00 p.m. last night, but I still feel a little hammered this morning. I think 1 will do it. 2 and I might sleep for days. Who knows?

Yesterday, I was betrayed by The Gerbil. I called home to see if it was o.k. for BFJ & I to bring his car over for Dad to look at. The Gerbil and I talked and he asked if I was coming over the play with him. I said "Yes and I'm bringing Jerry." He said "O.k. Bring Jerry."

For some reason, as soon as we walked in, BFJ was The Gerbil's new best friend! They proceeded to gang up on me. TG crawled right up on BFJ's lap and they taunted me! It was fundamentally unfair!

For some reason lately, our coffee here at work tastes like water unless I make it. I'm not sure what's going on, but I would like my coffee to taste like coffee again!

O.k. I'm going to go work and be cranky. Have a good day everyone!

Closet Time!

2006-03-02T15:55:00.000-05:00

When I was a kid and I was upset or depressed or ticked off... I would sit in my closet. I had a rather large closet (by 1976's standards) and I could sit in the bottom of it with a pillow and blanket comfortably.

I have to say that there is something about looking at my nephew last night and knowing that it was possibly the last time I'll ever see him alive that made me want to sit in my closet at my parents' house again.

I want to sit in there with a good book about a princess and a castle and whatever else I read when I was 10 and I don't want to worry. I don't want to wonder when my nephew is going to start treatments and if I'll be able to go see him before he goes into the Stem Cell unit or if he'll ever come back from Memphis. I don't want to wonder whether or not he'll be here for my wedding.

I want to sit in my closet. With the door shut and only have to worry about getting yelled at for not hearing my Dad ask where he lost... er I mean where us kids left his remote. (Ya, it was us that lost it... right...)

So if you need me, I'm going to go find a closet. I can't deal with this anymore.

The Best Birthday EVER!

2006-02-28T14:23:00.000-05:00

NOT! It started out well. I got up, got ready to leave, ran to Kroger and got donuts and danishes for the knitting group (yes, I will provide YOU with treats on MY birthday if you happen to be around) and headed for Pam's like I do every Saturday morning. When asked 100 times what I wanted to do on my 30th birthday, I replied (100 times) that I was going to sit at Pam's shop all day and knit and pretend that I wasn't turning 30.

It was going great... Pam had her husband bring me a birthday cake! I was sooo surprised! She's is one of the sweetest people I've ever met! Her and Kira. Neither are mean enough to be a small business owner. I just want you all to know that. It takes a mean streak to deal with customers all day long. I don't think either of them started with it. Pam might be getting one and Kira will eventually, but not quite yet.

Around the time my Mom was supposed to come pick me up to take me to lunch (at 2:30, I was squeezing in as much knitting as I could), I started to feel crappy...

Not crappy in a "I'm getting the flu" kind of way. Crappy in the "I'm getting PMS, forgot my meds and HATE EVERYONE" kind of way. Fun. I sat through lunch with my Mom not talking much and generally hating the world at my (for the moment) favorite restaurant. I opened my gifts and I'm sure I made my Mom want to cry because I just said "O.k. thanks". I. Am. A. Horrible. Child!

By the time I got home, I didn't even really want BFJ to come over. I just wanted to lay on the couch and cry because I was tired, in pain, fat, ugly, hated by everyone, hating everyone and now I was THIRTY YEARS OLD! So I knitted. I worked on BFJ's blanket thinking that I didn't know what I was going to do with it once he came over and I acted like a complete wench and he called off the wedding and I never got married and I would be an old maid and OH MY GOSH I AM THIRTY!

My Mom called and the crying began. I cried because I had PMS and I had hurt her feelings and I didn't mean to hurt her feelings and I'm fat and I'm ugly and THIRTY. My Mom said she understood, had put the gift receipts for the clothes she bought me in the boxes and when I felt better, I could try them on and maybe take them back. I told her I would make no decisions until the PMS was over with. I did have the mental capacity to thank her for the nice outfit she picked out for me. It really is nice. She understood.

BFJ came.... it did not go well for him. I am horrible. He knew I didn't feel well and why I didn't feel well and took it like a man. He apologized a lot. Possibly for things that weren't even his fault. I'm not sure. The things discussed on the couch will remain between he and I. I have apologized several times and he insists I don't need to apologize. It's a long story that will remain between us.

We celebrated my birthday the next day.

BFJ did the smartest thing any man trying to deal with me during the 2 day "This is my brain on PMS without Meds" monthly extravaganza could do. He took me to Pam's and bought me yarn. This, people, is why I LOVE HIM.

Not because he bought me yarn, but because he knew why I was acting like a mental person, sympathized (or at least did a darn good job of making me think he sympathized while most likely thinking "next month I'm force feeding those pills to you even if it kills us both!") and rode out the storm. He is a genius.

About every other day, I look at BFJ and part of me wants to ask him "Why do you put up with me?" The other part is saying "ARE YOU STUPID?! Don't point out to him that you don't deserve him!!" That's usually when he looks at me and says "What?" and I say "Nothing. Why?"

Let's hope he doesn't decide I'm right!

I hope you all had a great weekend! :)

The Answer Is..

2006-02-21T16:59:00.000-05:00

Yes. The wedding took over my life. Sorry no post here!

My 30th birthday looms in 4 days! I'm in denial at this point. People keep asking me what I want to do and for the most part I'm going to do that the first 1/2 of the day.

I will knit. I'm going to go to my knitting class in the morning and stay there until my Mom comes to meet me for a late lunch at about 3:00 p.m. That's what I want to do. In the evening (and depending on schedules), BFJ and I might go bowling with his brother & sister-in-law and BFFKira and her husband, Heathcliff. :) If we go on Sunday instead, then I'm sure BFJ and I will do something like dinner and a $1.50 movie.

I'm having dinner with the family tonight. Malakai wants Gray Brothers before he goes to Memphis. So we're all going! Yeah!!!

Well, I better get going. Hope you're all doing well!

And We're Off!

2006-02-13T11:43:00.000-05:00

The cat is out of the bag with regard to the wedding. BFJ and I sat my parents down and he asked their permission to marry me yesterday! It was very sweet. My Mom cried and just about knocked me over hugging me. So it's "official" to an extent. He hasn't actually proposed and I don't have a ring, but intentions have been announced and we might as well have fired a starting pistol for my Mom.

It had to happen eventually I guess. I'm happy they know now, though. I feel like I can plan without betraying my Mom.

I had to laugh, too (in my head of course) because my parents already started arguing politely about the budget about 3 sentences after "You have our blessing." My Dad said that money was tight and I was getting ready to say that I knew that when my Mom looked at him and said "Well, but Terry, your only daughter only gets married once and we didn't get to have an actual wedding due to our situation, but..." and that's when I said "Well, you both know I've never wanted a big wedding and Jerry and I would like to contribute as much as we can." Dad then said "You're Mother and I will talk and let you know how much we can handle." End of Financial Discussion. :)

I have pretty much decided that I will probably start a related site to this one called "My Take on Eloping" where I will vent about wedding planning.

Anyway.... in other news, my nephew is on his way to St. Jude Children's Hospital in Memphis. His biological father agreed to donate his bone marrow and hopefully that will go well.

For those of you wondering, no we have not broached the subject of BFJ moving into the house with Bob the Godfish. I'll let you know how that goes. :)

Everyone have a great day!

Monday on Thursday

2006-02-09T11:35:00.000-05:00

Well, I am back to work. After sleeping most of the afternoon yesterday, I feel like half a human being again. I'm still in that feeling hungry but my mind is saying "do you remember what food does to you? Get that out of your mouth?!"

I am only drinking a very foreign substance today... WATER! Hmmm... It's clear and couldn't possibly do much damage, could it? I have this crazy notion that maybe if I stopped with all of the Coke/Pepsi/Sprite products, I might not get sick as often and might lose weight. We'll see. I'm cautiously optimistic. I remember giving up Soda and Fast Food 1 other time and getting into a size 6 dress. B/c I'm really a skinny person inside, it's just that my chocolate/Taco Bell/pizza loving side ate her.

Am I giving up coffee you ask??? Let's not be stupid, people. I prefer not to end up in prison for murdering the first person that speaks to me in the morning and says more than "Hi, here's your coffee."

So today feels like Monday when it is actually Thursday. Getting out of bed this morning sucked royally, but at least in 2 days I'll get a nice surprise and be able to sleep in.

Maybe if I eat enough bagels and cottage cheese and drink only water and orange juice I will be able to eat real food again Sunday. Fun, huh?

BFJ and I discussed again the possibility of telling Mom and Dad that we want to get married. Maybe that's why my stomach is upset. The stress of asking The General for money has never sat well with me. On the other hand... the stress of keeping it from him may be worse. I think it's basically up to me. If I'm ready, we can tell them. If I'm not, we wait a little while longer. My stomach is putting in a vote, but I can't tell which side it's on. Although, this all started about the time I said "I want to tell my parents."

See, I'm pretty sure that after my Dad hears the word "wedding", he will only hear a loud sucking noise near his wallet and won't listen to anything else I say. So there will be further discussion on the timing of when to bring The General and his wallet that is padlocked by the Fed into the picture.

Ya'll come back now, ya hear? (Because I look, act and sound just like Jessica Simpson, don't I?)

Sick Day

2006-02-08T10:14:00.000-05:00

Today I am home sick. Not by choice but by the fact that there are apparently 10,000 tiny little people with knives stabbing me in the stomach right now just as they have been all night long! At some point very early this morning, they ran out of room and delegated about 500 to each side of my lower back. Fun!

So I will do nothing today and think of the million things I need to be doing at work. I will start to do something productive and then my stomach will say "ummm nope. Lay back down." This will be a completely wasted day.

So I will try to do things that I can do sitting completely still. Knit! I will knit! Right after I take a very long hot bath, I will knit. That will be good.

Last night I had Girls Night Dinner. Which I maybe shouldn't have gone too. My stomach has been warning me to be on my best behavior for a few days now and what did I do? I ate like there was no tomorrow! And I forgot to ask the waitress to leave the onions and peppers off my chicken. Peppers eventually become little people with knives in my stomach. Onions don't always unless they are coerced by the Peppers. Peppers are evil! It's all just part of the blessing of having hereditary (sp?) digestive problems. Thanks Mom, love ya!

Funny thing, though is that I'm actually hungry right now. My stomach wants food but the rest of me is thinking "Not happening for a while!" Cottage cheese is probably what I'll ask BFJ to go get me later. Cottage cheese is always what my Mommy ate when the little people were in her stomach!

I told BFJ last night that I really want to tell my parents that we're getting married. I want my Mom and I to have fun planning this. (Although, I'm fairly certain that she will at some point in the planning drive me over the edge.) I just wish that I had a normal life right now.

I wish my nephew didn't have cancer and BFJ could propose whenever he wanted and we could tell my parents and have a nice wedding without the constraints of having to work around treatments and paying for transplants and trips to Memphis.

Fairview Clubhouse Girl Nina is engaged and having all of the fun planning. She doesn't have to worry so much about timing and how it will affect all of her family. I'm sure she does to an extent, but she won't worry about her Mom having complications from stomach surgery from the stress or if her Dad will say she can't do it because he's helping out with hospital bills for her sibling. She gets to have this time without feeling guilty about being happy when her family is falling apart. I'm a little jealous. I certainly don't want Princess Diana's wedding or a huge wedding that would be shown on E True Hollywood Wedding Stories, but I would like to be able to be excited and tell my parents and plan it like a normal person. I want to be able to be excited and happy without worrying about how it will all work out with Malakai.

On the other hand... if my whole family is in Memphis for Malakai, maybe we could get married at Graceland! Church Friend Christy said we should elope. I would love that except it would kill my Mother. I'm thinking that the cruise ship wedding might be a good idea. If our parents are the only ones there, then so be it. It would be the least amount of stress on everyone. Who cares if it's really not what I want, right? I have to think of what's best for my family. I just want to marry Jerry. Do the details really matter?

Anyway... enough thinking out loud. FCG Nina, please don't take anything I said to heart. I'm just whining.

Well, I'm going to go lay down again. My stomach said so. Have a great day!

Heinz Ward for President!

2006-02-06T11:16:00.000-05:00

This post is from Monday. While I was writing it, my boss came in and decided that my lunch would only last 15 minutes. So this is as far as I got.

GO STEELERS!!!!

My Steelers won the Superbowl last night (for those of you living like an Ostrich - head in the ground!). It was a good game. Not completely 1 sided like years past. Bill Cowher actually smiled!!!! Wow! I'm soooo happy.

At half time, Mr. Cowher said "...Ben needs to settle down a bit...". I laughed. Ben is like 23(?) and winning the Superbowl his 2nd year in the NFL. I'd have trouble settling down if that was me, too! :)

Hello. I'm Tired.

2006-02-02T16:55:00.000-05:00

Do you know that being crazy is very tiring? I spend all day running around like my head is on fire and worrying about things that I can't possibly control and then... at the end of the day... I'm just... tired.

Very, very tired.

You would think with all of that running on fire, I would lose more weight. Unfortunately, that running is in my head. Ya, I know... a LOT of things are just in my head. I should possibly be wearing a foil helmet and standing on a corner somewhere screaming that the world is coming to an end. Instead, I just write this blog.

Anyway... I'm tired. So I think that BFJ is getting Tombstone's finest BBQ Chicken Pizza tonight. I'm going to put sweats on and enjoy my crazy tiredness and do my taxes. Fun....

Shock & Awe

2006-02-01T11:23:00.000-05:00

Well, for those of you wondering, D-Day ended up being a lot like President Bush's "shock and awe" plan. It left me with a feeling of "that's it? I got all worked up and that's all you got?" Don't get me wrong, I didn't want to find out that I have breast cancer, but it just seemed that letting worry for 4 days for them to say "Ya, you didn't even really need this test" kind of bugs me.

See now that the hospital I go to has been incorporated into one of the large conglomerate "hospital systems", nothing gets done easily. When my hospital was just a small local hospital and my doctor said "it's probably nothing, but let's send you down for an x-ray", you literally went downstairs and had it done right then unless they were closed or booked for the day. This time, I had to call a "central scheduling" number and pick which "campus" I wanted (I didn't want this test, they make it sound like you want it, though) to have it done at. Then they can't get you in for at least 5 days and you have to just wonder if you're dying for a week. Nice, huh? We've become SOOOO much more efficient, haven't we?

This irritates the begeezus out of me. All weekend, I kept seeing women who were obviously in treatment for breast cancer. I saw 3 t.v. shows about women dying of breast cancer. It seemed to me that I couldn't escape it! I know that sounds weird, but I was about to have the tests done that determine things and it seemed like they were everywhere because all I wanted to do was not think about it! So if I had the tests done that day or the next, I wouldn't have had to drive BFJ crazy. Although, it was sort of good because the following questions got answered.

1. Would he still love me with no hair and no breasts? Yes.
2. If it is cancer, can we get married before I start treatment so I can look normal in my wedding dress? Yes.
3. Do you think I'll look more or less like my Dad with no breasts because then my stomach would stick out like his? That got a "whatever Dude."
4. If something bad happens, I have a living will and my Dad will pull the plug if I am in a "persistent vegitative state and a physician has declared that I will not likely recover" and is he o.k. with that? Yes.
5. Is he aware that we will have to have our Wills and Power of Attorney documents fixed after our wedding? Yes.
6. Is it.... "O.k. I love you. I'm not going anywhere. It will be o.k. and whatever happens we will work through it together!" Apparently, he wanted to go to sleep Sunday night. :)

O.k. I need to return to "sweating the small stuff Wednesday". Today I am handling all of the little things that didn't get done the last 2 days because I was either in a meeting or not here.

I hope you all have a great day! Oh and btw... Survivor starts tomorrow night and you better believe I will be watching much, much more closely than I usually do. Why? Because what if we lose all of our modern conveniences, remember? I need to know how to do these things. Don't forget to watch. I'm not teaching ya'll how to make a fire if it gets bad. K? ;)

Houston, we have a problem...

2006-01-30T12:01:00.000-05:00

Hello. Welcome to D-Day. My name is Melissa. I will be your guide for D-Day. Please remember to keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times. Also, please keep in mind that I am CRAZY!

My plan for "not panicking" today included me being stuck in my 9:30 meeting until I needed to leave at 12:30. I was going to quietly excuse myself, leave instructions for the attorney on what to do with the file after I left and leave to meet my Mom. Unfortunately, that plan died at 11:15 a.m. when my clients opted to be the only clients I've had the 13 months I've worked here that didn't ask 400 irrational and/or complete unrelated questions. The simply took the information, asked that we write up an analysis of what we proposed, made a follow up appointment (in which I will probably be stuck until 1 or 2) and left.

Why? Why? WHY!?

Any other day the meeting with a family of 8 kids trying to decide on the best place for Mom to live would take DAYS to finish up. Not this family. They are efficient, respectful of each other and are keeping Mom's best interests in mind. These are the clients I dream of ON ANY OTHER DAY!

So now I sit here, writing this with 25 minutes left of trying to work while "not panicking." It's not working. I've already asked the estate planning paralegal 14 questions about my Health Care Power of Attorney document and should I call my Dad and change my wishes so that he has to ask BFJ his opinion before they pull the plug on me and do I need something in writing RIGHT NOW! [Side Note to Co-Worker Amanda - I love you and if I could get the proposal on those questions emailed to me by the end of tomorrow, I'd appreciate it. KIDDING!]

I have also come to the sudden realization that BFJ doesn't know that I have a Living Will that says I'm not to be resuscitated if I'm in a persistent vegitative state and a doctor declares that there is no hope for me. Now, I'm hoping that they don't go off of brain function b/c they could essentially pull my plug on any given day if that's the case. HOWEVER, in reality I am concerned that I will need surgery and something will happen and my Dad will pull the plug without talking to BFJ because my Dad does not know that we have decided to get married and I want BFJ's opinion considered.

So... I now need to remember that it's basically just a FREAKING X-RAY!

O.k. time to go. Finishing the billing and deflecting work took up a good 15 minutes. Woo hoo!

I'll let you know how it goes. If I'm still alive. If I'm not, let's hope my Dad talked to BFJ before he ended things.

My Favorite Game: "What If..."

2006-01-26T11:36:00.000-05:00

We have 2 scenarios to play my favorite game of "What If..." with today. The first involves my routine visit to my OB/GYN and the resulting "Testing To Be Done Monday" which we will forevermore label as "D-Day". The other involves the book I'm reading.

Let's get D-Day over with first. My nurse practitioner Kelly has sent me for testing and I'm nervous. While I love NP Kelly and trust her with my life, I'm not happy with her. See, when I go in and say things like "what's that spot there?", her response should be more like "Nothing and we'll never speak of it again." It should not be "Hmmm.. it's probably nothing, but I'm going to have it poked, prodded, x-rayed, squished and generally tortured before we really decide it's nothing." So Monday is D-Day. I spent most of last night "not panicking."

See... "not panicking" is very tricky, because it takes extreme amount of throwing sarcasm and humor at a problem to convince everyone around you that you're not panicking. Although, certain people will not be convinced. Those people yesterday included Favorite Sister-in-Law Peggy, Best Friend Forever Kira, Mom (she doesn't get a cool nickname because she's Mom - just Mom and we need to remain that way), and BFJerry. Possibly Doctor Friend Cody didn't buy it either. She's like psychic or possibly trained to recognize when people who have just been given bad news are about to lose it.

What was decided is that DFCody needs a better "it will all be o.k." speech. She's just in her first year of Residency, though, so we're cutting her some slack. All she said was "it will be o.k. It's nothing. They just want to make sure." 7 years of medicine related studying and 6/10th's of a year of Residency and you have a 3 sentence speech? Hmmm.... Not long enough and not enough technical terms was my reply. I asked her to brush up on it and I'd call her again Monday. She said o.k.

So now that we are "not panicking" still... we will move on to the book I am reading.

I am reading "Last Light" by Terri Blackstock. She is my favorite murder-mystery novelist. She's a Christian, too, so that's great.

The book is about a family living in Alabama, outside of Birminham, when all of a sudden nothing electronic works. No watches, no cars, no planes, nothing. Planes fall out of the sky suddenly. All of the cars stall at once. Lights, clocks and anything else electronic just quits. There's no water either since the water treatment plant pumps use electricity. It's not just a "black out" either because NOTHING works.

People wait it out a couple days and then things get crazy. There's vigilante justice, looting, and, of course, murders. It's a really good book. I'm about 3/4 of the way through and 2.5 weeks into the "outage".

The question this poses to me (and what I decided to ponder while I was "not panicking" last night until BFJ got off work) was:

WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT POWER OR ANY MODERN ELECTRONIC CONVENIENCE?

Seriously, I'm kind of ticked when lights bulbs burn out. (Mostly because I'm short and can't reach some of them even with my ladder and have to wait for a taller person to come fix it.) Still... how would I live today if a disaster of some sort happened. Because I'm not a "long-term planner" in that area. I don't have food reserves or a garden. I'm still working on not killing bushes.

Would I be able to chop wood for a fire? The people in the book had a fire pit built into their deck outside. I'd have to dig one.

My bike has flat tires and a very impressive layer of dust on it. Would I even be able to ride it the mile & a half to Wal-Mart since I'm so out of shape? I do a lot of walking, so I'm good there, but anything else not so much. I've always wanted a horse, so maybe this is a good reason to get one!

The family in the book luckily live in an addition with a lake in the middle. I don't have a lake for MILES. Where would I get water? Luckily, Bob solves this problem because I normally have 10 or so gallons of distilled water under the table his tank is on. I always knew Bob would save me.

How would I protect myself from looters or others trying to "take advantage" of the situation? The family members have now been attacked at various points by people trying to steal from them and have guns. I don't own a gun. I told BFJ we needed one. He was confused until I explained why. Because if the police can't use cars and we have no 911, how would you protect yourself and your family? Someone always has to ride a bike to go get a Sheriff. On average in the book, it has taken this rural housing addition approximately 30 minutes to get a Sheriff to help. Then they can't really do anything like take fingerprints, etc., because they have no way of comparing them.

So what would you do if you starting right this minute, you couldn't use any modern conveniences anymore? Hmmmmm???? I would "not panic", then I would cry, then I would panic officially. That's the plan. Ha!

Try to have a good day!

The Biggest Scam in America Today

2006-01-24T12:10:00.000-05:00

The biggest scam in the US and possibly the world today (besides insurance - that's another day) are WEDDINGS! BFJ and I are discussing getting married. Not whether we should, but when and where. Has he proposed? Not yet. We looked at rings so he would know what type of ring I'd be uncomfortable wearing (think shape of stone, etc.) and what I would like and now it's up to him. I want to be totally surprised and so far that's how it's going to be. He doesn't say anything about it and I don't ask.

Those of you who know me well are thinking "aren't you the girl who still tries to find her Christmas gifts before your Mom wraps them?" Yep, but this is important to me. (That sounded bad - Christmas is important too, but it happens every year. This should only happen once in my life.) I don't want to know what ring he's getting. I don't want to know when he's going to propose. I don't want to know how he's going to do it.

I very much try not to think about it. Because I really don't want to know or even guess.

What I have been doing (and YES - BFJ knows and YES - he's o.k. with it) is doing a little preliminary "how much is this going to cost" research. Not really planning, just inquiring. Because see... what I'd like to do is be able to tell my parents that I'm engaged, but that they can keep breathing because I've got an idea of how to do it ECONOMICALLY.

However, I'm starting to learn that here in the land of the free, that's actually not allowed. You have to spend an arm and a leg on your wedding. You have to at least sign over your first born. I think I read it in the small print!

Well, I guess I'll just wait. I'll keep getting information about Plan A and Plan B (to be revealed later) and wait. I'm o.k. with that. Amazingly, o.k. I'm not sure why. If I figure that out, I'll let ya know! :)

So I'll keep you updated on how the "Research & Development" stage of wedding planning goes.

Have a great day!

An Apple A Day...

2006-01-20T11:31:00.000-05:00

O.k. with all of the Malakai news, I failed to report on an amusing event that happened in Co-Worker Friend Amanda's life recently. [And she asked why it didn't make the blog - so CWFAmanda, this is for you!]

On CWFAmanda's 26th birthday, she had a very exciting night. So exciting that she didn't come to work the next day. I finally called around 9:30 or so to make sure she was o.k. and find out if she was going to appear any time soon. I woke her up to find out that she had spent the night in the ER because she cut her thumb. O.k., no problem, she'll be in soon, right? How bad can a cut be?

Well kids... poor CWFAmanda has had her left hand above her heart for over 2 weeks now, has had surgery, is in an elbow-to-thumb brace and it is wrapped to look like it rivals the size of Shaquille (sp?) O'Neill's arm! Hello? What kind of cut was that again?

She cut herself with an apple corer. She simply wanted to eat healthy. Let this be a lesson for the kids. Healthy eating doesn't pay off when you end up having surgery and physical therapy afterward!

I'd like to report that CWFAmanda is healing well and almost recovered, but at her visit this week, she learned that she is NOT healing, she will have ANOTHER surgery and STILL has to keep her hand above her heart! Geez, Louise!

She's a trooper, though. She's here. She's typing 1 handed, but she's making the most of things. So please remember - an Apple a day does NOT necessarily keep the doctor away. In some cases it can bring a doctor, a physical therapist and a hand surgeon!

Knitting News

I started a new project last night. I know. I said I know already! But I've been eyeing the lace scarf pattern in my book and I really, really, really thought it would look pretty in the burgundy yarn I bought a long time ago on sale. So I cast on and worked the first 13 rows last night while watching a movie with BFJ. It's very pretty. Now I just have to decide what to do with it! :) Gift for a Gramma maybe? Donate to a shelter? We'll see. I may just use all of that yarn to make tons of things to be donated. Who knows?

BFJ News

He's still here and he learned that I will say "hey will you please sweep the kitchen floor since you almost live here too?" I was a little nicer than that, but I was stressed because my schedule was off and girls are coming tomorrow for knitting including FCG Rachel and her white glove... and oh crap, I wasn't ready! Arg! So he helped and did a great job!

Malakai News

He's doing well. His bone marrow is recovering and there is hope. He's also Blue. Yes, I said he's blue. Not as in a sickly, lack of oxygen blue. He's Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory Blue. Colts Blue. Apparently some new medicine is making him turn blue, pee blue, all kinds of things are blue! Eww.... Anyway... at least things are looking up!

Fish Tank News

There actually isn't any. BFJ swears though that Bob gave him a dirty look the other day because there's a lack of attention to Bob lately. But all in all, things are good in Bob's world. He's still swimming and Ted is still alive. They have a new tank heater that works much better and doesn't explode randomly, so they should be happy. But seriously, how can you tell if fish are happy?

Family News

Mom and The General will celebrate their 34th wedding anniversary Sunday. They, of course, have my niece and nephew and asked me to babysit. So I get to play with the kids Sunday. Congrats, Parent People! Happy Anniversary! :)

O.k. back to work. Love you all bye bye!

The Definition of Terminal

2006-01-19T15:36:00.000-05:00

Apparently, the definition of "terminal" varies by department at Riley Hospital for Children. I have recently learned that the Tranplant Team (whoever they are and what sport do they play again?) have declared Malakai "terminal" based on his test results and have revoked his eligibility for transplant. These people, should I ever learn their exact identities, deserve to be shot. [In the event that anyone who could fall into the category of "The Authorities" reads this - I don't own a weapon and I'm a wuss. Just keep that in mind.]

Malakai's doctor has not given up hope and thinks that there's a possibility that Malakai's counts could get back into a range acceptable for transplant. Therefore... chemo started again Tuesday. And apparently it's not being nice to my buddy. He's not comfortable. He hurts and he has a fever. It's not fair.

So I will pray, leave it in God's hands and move on. I don't want to sound callous, but I have to. I have to move on with my day because if I didn't I'd be over there beating up hospital staff people down to the janitors.

So I will go on and be funny. Because humor is a good way to mask pain and hurt and frustration. It works for a LOT of people. Just ask your neighborhood therapist. They'll tell you. They know.

I am, ironically, fixing an application handled by my ex-assistant. See... here's what happened. When I initially talked them into letting her go and finding someone that would actually be helpful to me. The results was that they decided I was worried she was going to take my job. Ya... sure... o.k....

So they hired her on a trial basis to be an equal to me and handle Applications for only those people who are single with little assets, leaving me with complicated spousal impoverishment cases that make me crazy.

On a side note - this frustrated me because in the middle of working on my spousal cases, I like to set them down for an hour or 2 and put together an easy "single person w/ nothing" application to prove I can accomplish something and de-stress a little.

Anywho... the other complication of this decision? I only had single person apps in the pipeline. This essentially left me with not much to do except finish up old cases, which was fine because I had a lot of that to do.

So whatever, they hire her to do this for 2 weeks. Now my condition of this was that I didn't want to have to go back and fix everything she'd done. No problem, they said. Head Honcho Dude said that wouldn't happen.

Ya'll... I've spent that last 3 days trying to figure out what she did to this application, how to fix it and where to go from here!

I'm not happy. Because let's not forget that it's not Head Honcho Dude getting yelled at by various members of Sweet Little Old Lady's family about things like why did we need someone to come in and handle a Medicaid application when that's supposed to be WHAT WE DO HERE AT THIS LAW FIRM ALL DAY EVERY DAY!

Because what I what I wanted to say and wasn't allowed to say was - Good freakin' question! I'm going to digress now...

Knitting... hasn't happened so much. I can't knit and be depressed at the same time. For some reason it just doesn't work that way. Knitting makes me happy and I didn't want to be happy. So there was not so much of the knitting this week.

However... tomorrow night is Knitting Dinner and a Movie Night at Mel's House of Knitting & Food. I will most likely be making the ever so wonderful homemade potato soup. I'm trying to figure out what to have with it, though. Probably just snacky type things. If you are planning on attending and would like to weigh in... I would suggest calling me before 7 p.m. or so tonight because that's when I'm heading to the grocery store! Ha, ha!

Things That Would be Depressing If I Didn't Have BFJ:
[Drum roll please]

FCG Nina is engaged!!! Congrats Neener! Now I will scour books, websites and magazines looking for the perfect thing to knit for your home with Sbrock! [Dude - I need 6 months at least!] BUT as it was tenderly pointed out by Co-Worker Friend Amanda... my completion rate sucks, so not to worry, you'll probably get something off your registry from me and an apology for it not being a knitted thing. First, I will strive to find the appropriate thing and complete it before said wedding. [Even I'm not delusional enough to think I'll have it in time for the shower!]

O.k. back to the salt mines... I have other people's work to fix... bleck!

WARNING - the following post is not funny

2006-01-16T09:42:00.000-05:00

I'm not superstitous, but Friday the 13th was not a good one for me. It started out with me getting to work pretty stinkin' late. I can't even tell you why. I was just late. The first thing I did when I got there was something I NEVER do in the morning. I checked Malakai's website to see how he handled his spinal tap.

Now, you're thinking, why don't you check it in the morning? Because sometimes, I find out things that ruin my entire day. Sometimes. Sometimes I find out good things, but I can't run that risk. I have clients to serve and cute little old people in nursing homes who need help with their benefits. So I normally limit my exposure to all things Malakai related until at least 4:45 p.m. That way, I can get things done. I know that sounds cold, but that's how it has to be.

So I checked to see how the spinal tap went... not expecting to see RESULTS! Also not expecting those results to be VERY MUCH NOT GOOD.

Malakai's bone marrow is 97% cancer cells and he has been declared to be "terminal".

I immediately called my Mom to see how she was. Ummm... she didn't know yet. Nice, I know.

There's a line from the movie/Shakespeare play "Much Ado About Nothing" that came to mind when I was telling my Mother about Malakai's situation before Brian & Rheagan were ready to tell her. That line is:

"Please keep in mind, good sirs, that I AM AN ASS!"

I continued in my donkey-ish ways by calling the Pastor of my home church before my Mom could and calling my Dad's boss to get his number in Georgia. I called my Dad and he wasn't upset with me, but still.... I was not on my A game Friday.

I left work after wrapping a few things up and spent some time with my Mom. I was so depressed I couldn't even knit. I spent a lot of time wandering my house. BFJ worked a little magic to cheer me up, but I still had moments where he was worried about me.

I stayed with him at his apartment this weekend because I didn't want to be alone. I'm pretty sure at some point, he regretted being my boyfriend. I asked him stupid questions like "what will we do if our kids gets sick?" I couldn't sleep and kept him awake. He, of course, handled it all in his Boyfriend-of-the-Century-BFJ-way by saying things like "we'll deal with it together", "I love you", "What can I do?" and at 4 a.m. when we both knew that I was not sleeping any time soon (and possibly neither was he with all of the tossing, turning and wandering), by pulling me onto his lap and holding me while I cried for what felt like forever.

I was able to smile a little this weekend thanks to my baby niece Haeleigh and BFJ. I babysat Haeleigh for Mom Saturday afternoon and we had a good time. We watched hockey together and I taught her how to cheer. (6 months isn't too early to start them is it?) She's such a cute and happy baby that you can't help but smile at her. She looks exactly like Malakai, though, and at times her happy little expressions made me a little sad.

BFJ and I also went to a party at the Fairview Clubhouse to watch the Colts game. I was instructed to stay quiet since I am a Steelers fan and I was able to do so until the last 2 minutes! It was a good time and I was able to be happy. Especially since my Steelers won the game!!!!

So my bright points this weekend were BFJ, Haeleigh and the Steelers. I will keep you updated about Malakai when I can.

Is it Me?

2006-01-11T11:33:00.000-05:00

Man... oh man... more of my friends are trying to move out of the state. I'm beginning to wonder if I should take it personally. Because it seems that possibly if you are friends me longer than approximately a year, you have a sudden urge to move out of state.

2 of the Fairview Clubhouse Girls are contemplating employment opportunities out of state! 1 actually has an interview in which she will be flown in and given a tour of her maybe-new-future-hometown!

I know what you're thinking... geez, Mel... breathe, it's only 2 of them. HOWEVER, past history indicates that this is a common problem...

I now list for you GOOD FRIENDS WHO HAVE FLED THE STATE:

Heather - Azusa, California
Jessica - Quad Cities, Illinois/Iowa
Kendra - 1st in New York State, then I found her there and visited and she moved to Pennsylvania near Philadelphia
Meghan - Upper Penninsula of Michigan, I visited and then upstate New York, I visited and now GERMANY!

[Note to Heather & Jessica - you apparently have to move after I've visited. Let me know when you're ready.]

So I ask you... do you think it's me???

In other news... I had the Girls Night Dinner last night. It was fun. There was a creepy waiter, but it was still fun. Tomorrow night there will be knitting night at Pam's shop. I will attempt to purchase NO YARN. We'll see how that goes.

O.k. I hope you all have a wonderful day!

My Car Ate My Knitting Money

2006-01-10T17:33:00.000-05:00

This weekend, I had car repair issues. I'm sure I already told you, but I'm still bothered by it. You know why? Because I can't handle the fact that I can't do the things I wanted to do with my paycheck. I have to live on the food in my fridge (which since I've been dating BFJ and started cooking again is considerably better than in the past), not purchase anything other than gas for the car and cancel all of my fun activities until the 20TH! That's nearly 2 whole weeks people...

Now, I've handled not buying new yarn for 2 weeks before. I've actually done it without noticing. I even made a large-ish purchase of yarn a week or so ago and have plenty of projects that I need to finish before I buy more. However, just knowing that I can't buy yarn is, of course....

VERY NEARLY KILLING ME!!!

I want yarn. I have yarn on hold at Pam's. I need yarn. It's like crack to me at this point! I'm going to start gnawing on the furniture if I don't get it! I'm dying here!

What is it about not being able to have something that makes you want it more? I probably would be perfectly o.k. with holding off on buying my needle set and more yarn if I actually had the money to buy it. I think it's the very idea that I can't have it that is driving me batty. (Hey Tim, whoever you are... I probably spelled batty wrong too! Get over it!)

O.k. I'm going to breathe in and breathe out and try to calm myself. I'm gettting ready to leave for the super-fun (no grocery stores involved) Girls Night dinner at TGI Fridays! Woo hoo! I will see just how cheaply I can eat there, too. No Jack Daniels Shrimp for me tonight. The very thought of spending $13 on 1 meal is just appalling this week. BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE $13 TO SPEND ON 1 MEAL. Again... breathing... calmly.... o.k..... Soup, yes... soup is good!

I will eat more when I get home if I have to. It's not about the food. It's about the fellowship and bonding.

What will BFJ do without me tonight, you ask? Good question. He might actually get to eat at his own house, watch his own t.v., go to the video game store (w/o hearing me sigh at the fact that I have no monies to purchase fun things), talk to his family/friends, and generally re-visit the life he had before me, I would imagine. Except the hitting on girls that work at Bob Evans. That wouldn't be good. (In my mind I just heard him say "Whatever! I can't believe you put that on here! That's not cool!")

We have an inside joke about a waitress at Bob Evans that he wanted to go out with BEFORE HE MET ME. However, the first time (and coincidentally the only time) we ever ate at Bob Evans, she was our waitress, thus making the inside joke even funnier. I guess it's not really an "inside joke" anymore, though, since I put it on the internets for all to read about now is it.

12 more minutes until I can leisurely stroll to my car to drive the 5 blocks to TGI Fridays. I should work. I have things to do. Notes to put in files. Documents to mail to people.

Nah... I'll play on the internets like any other red-blooded American worker. :)

How I Feel Today

2006-01-10T12:20:00.000-05:00

I have reclaimed the living room!

2006-01-09T16:21:00.000-05:00

This weekend, I did something that I've been wanting to do for a long, long time. I got my Christmas tree out of the living room! Woo hoo! No, I have not been leaving the tree up for years, but it has been in a very large storage container in the back corner of my living room (when not in use) for a couple of years now. It was too large for me to move any farther than scooting it into the corner, so there it stayed, usually with something covering during the non-Christmas months, until....

[drum roll please!]

The General consented to putting it in his attic and BFJ helped him put it up there! YES! I can actually see wall space back there! It's so pretty!

I also had car repair this weekend. The General magically transformed himself into "Daddy that I love so dearly" when he graciously kept me from having to pay labor fees and changed the power steering pump in my car. Now... I have to ask the question... how many times should you really have to change a power steering pump in a car's lifetime? Because frankly, this car just got a new power steering pump 3 years ago. Hmmm.... When Daddy Dearest was asked this question after being told several times how much I adore him as a father and am in awe of his skills as a mechanic, the answer I got was "I don't know and let's not find out. Get rid of this #$%#$ car!"

Oops...

So hopefully, I can get a different car this summer. We'll see. I wanted to get a different car last summer and we all see how that went... Hmmmm....

Nothing else new to report. I'm still working on the very cute, funky pink scarf for Niece Becca and the blanket for BFJ. I'm not starting any more projects for the moment because frankly... the power steering pump ate my knitting money!! How rude!

That's all from the peanut farm! Love ya'll!

Pictures from the holidays! Finally!

2006-01-06T11:50:00.000-05:00

I finally got the pictures of the last month off of BFJ's camera. So here are a few...

BFJ and I visiting my Far Away Friend Heather when she was home for Christmas.

Far Away Friend Heather and I. Same day, obviously, people. I'm wearing the same clothes. Duh!

The Parents. Aren't they cute?!

And finally... BFJ being trained to be a Human Yarn Winding Machine. Or at least being gracious enough to hold the yarn while I wind it and let me take this picture. :)

Hi...

2006-01-04T11:32:00.000-05:00

I really have nothing to say today. I'm busy today and will just write this quickly so I can spend the better part of my lunch 1/2 hour doing things that an assistant should be doing for me. I'm looking for a new assistant currently, but I'm unwilling to let the filing and other clerical duties that the aforementioned assistant should be doing back up. Because frankly, I'll have stuff for her to do when I find her. Trust me. There's work to be done here. Especially with my anal retentive organizational standards.

[Note - for those of you who have seen my house and are thinking "anal retentive organizational standards? Where? Was I missing something?" I do no apply those standards to my home. Just my office. The reason I am short an assistant right now is because she was unwilling to live up to my filing standards and actually misplaced a very important piece of documentation. I.E.... she no longer works here. I am just tired when I get home and there is not an Ethics Board or any sort that will ban me from living in my home if every piece of paper is not in place whereas, I have one of those Ethics Boards for my profession and they EXHAUST ME MENTALLY.]

Anyway....

Here at work. Things are tabbed and re-tabbed by color depending on what I'm trying to prove to the government at what time. I just need someone who went to kindergarten to help me. That's all. Because basically for what I need done, I have nieces and nephews that could handle it. Darn those child labor laws!

O.k. well, I better get this file put together. I'm tired. Seriously. Tired.

A Great Start...

2006-01-03T11:29:00.000-05:00

Well, 2006 is off with a bang! I have already managed to screw up my checking account, have psychotic PMS, found a gray hair and was late to work. Late to work not being a big deal since sometimes you can get away with 5 minutes, but no... today when the elevator doors opened in the parking garage for me to try to sprint to my office in the hopes that no one would notice, there stood Jeff, the associate attorney in charge of HR. Nice...

So I tried to play it off by saying "Shh... don't tell Jeff we're 5 minutes late." b/c trying to be cute always works for me you know. Right... He just kind of smirked and didn't really say anything. But you know.. he was late too, dagnabbit.

Co-Worker Amanda, who I may have to rename "Killer of Joy", pointed out that I have a gray hair. Thank you. I needed that today.

We won't discuss what I did to my checking account, but Tina at the bank is my new hero.

Psychotic PMS was the last trick up my sleeve for making BFJ want to run. IT DIDN'T WORK! I did try to spare him the agony and when I realized I was getting aggitated about absolutely nothing, I pulled off my socks and counted on my fingers and toes until I realized that yes... it was time and no... I hadn't remembered to take my Chemical Sanity in time to prevent said Psychotic PMS. So I ran to WalGreens at 2:30 yesterday afternoon in the hope that I could get enough Chemical Sanity in my system to prevent a total melt down. Luckily... we had only partial melt down.

By 5:00 p.m., I was doing dishes and crying because I was convinced that BFJ was going to dump me because of said PMS and the fact that I didn't get the bathroom cleaned. So I called BFFKira and she convinced me that BFJ would be o.k. if I just told him that I wanted to be alone that night and didn't want him to come over after work like he does pretty much every night. BFFKira and I decided that I would give him the option of coming to experience Psychotic PMS now and getting it over with or opting out while he still can. Ironic that the partial melt down was about whether or not BFJ should be exposed to said Psychotic PMS, isn't it? This is why we refer to it as Psychotic PMS, though, people.

He decided to get it over with. At 8:30 p.m., he came in very quietly (possibly wishing he were armed - he did look a little nervous) and hugged me. He sat on the couch with me and rubbed my feet. He fixed the t.v. remote that's been broken for nigh on 7 years now. When he walked in, all was right with my world.

He is human, however, because he did refuse to play chess with me. It was decided that me playing chess, which already frustrates me because I don't understand how he gets Checkmate so quickly, might be a bad idea combined with Psychotic PMS since I would have little chess pieces to throw. Yep, he does have some self-preservation instincts.

So 2006 isn't exactly starting off so hot, but hopefully, this week won't be some kind of sign for what the whole year will bring. Who knows, maybe it will get better. It's only Tuesday for cryin' out loud!!!

I hope your 2006 is starting out much better!

Happy New Year!!!

2005-12-31T19:49:00.000-05:00

Well, since I last posted, I have started breathing again. I have decided to forego denial and just take things 1 project at a time. Unless you mean knitting and them 3 to 4 projects at a time. Because since I was able to complete 1 project Friday (Friend Kimmie's knitted thing), I have started 2 others and planned 2 more in my head.

I started BF Jerry's blanket. I have decided that in the future, all people I love should own a blanket from me. Which, in short, means a LOT of blanket knitting in the future. BUT the projects on needles and in my head besides BFJ's blanket are...

1. Niece Becca's funky pink and white scarf & hat. (on needles)
2. A scarf and hat for me to go with my new coat. (not on needles yet) I picked a deep red in very soft Alpaca with a lighter weight cream and gold yarn to hold with it for a little extra something. I haven't bought the yarn yet, though. Pam is having a sale tomorrow. Woo hoo!
3. A scarf and hat for Niece Amy. I have until September for this, but have picked out the yarn in my head. It isn't purchased yet and definitely isn't on needles yet.
4. The never-ending Irish Hiking Scarf is still on needles and I think in the trunk of my car! I remember putting it there to banish it from my sight when watching a Colts game at The Fairview Clubhouse with The Friends. I swear I'll finish it soon!

I have resolved all issues on said 2005 Medicaid application and it can go out in the mail Tuesday. So I will only be 1 working day late of accomplishing all things 2005 at work.

I still have a sick nephew. He's having some troubles with side effect type issues, but at least we still don't have cancer cells! Woo hoo! I'll go ahead and consider a Cancer-Free Malakai and accomplishment in 2005. Not on my part personally, but I put a lot of prayer and sleepless nights into it, so I get to count it, right???

BFJ - still here... I'm still happy about that. He's sick, though, so we don't have any good First New Year's Together plans. That kind of sucks, but maybe next year we can do something cool. Currently, he is playing a video game while I finish this up. We are then going to the video store to get a movie and to my place. His smells like smoke because the man below him smokes and it comes up through the bathroom vent. I'm allergic to cigarette smoke, so we don't hang out here much. I feel bad, but he says it's o.k.

Cleanliness at the house... Well... I've cleaned the kitchen. Does that count? O.k. still nothing more than a few articles of clothing hanging in that very beautifully built closet, but I'll work on that later. I promise.

O.k. people... have a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

A New Year???

2005-12-29T13:24:00.000-05:00

I have to start a NEW year? Start all over? I'm not done with this year yet! I still feel like I have a ton of things to do! I am 2 knitting projects, 1 healthy nephew, 1 clean house, and 1 Medicaid application short of being done with 2005!!!

How am I supposed to be expected to begin a new year?!

See, I like to start new things fresh. I don't like starting new things when old things are still hanging around. 2006 looks like it's going to be hectic, so I should probably wrap 2005 up quickly.

Here's what I have coming up and what I still need to finish.

WORK

1. I have to finish a case in which I was the "assistant" on. Hopefully, though, this will be complete by the end of next week. Thus, it will only be 4 working days past completion of 2005.

2. I am now a full-on-case-managing paralegal and have 4 of MY OWN cases coming up to be handled the first 2 weeks of 2006. Thus, the 2005 case that I was just the assistant on and should have been wrapped up weeks ago, is just putting pressure on my 2006 schedule. This, btw, does not include the fact that I have 2 meetings the 1st week of January to add TWO MORE of my own clients to my case list. Hmmmm....

FAMILY

1. I do now have a healthy Mom - or at least healthy as it is relative to her and as healthy as she has ever been in her life. So 1 healthy relative has been accomplished.

2. I am still short 1 fully-healthy nephew. We're working on this. He's been cancer free for a week and I am willing to roll this issue into 2006 as long as he stays cancer-free long enough for the mid-February transplant deadline. So this is acceptable, but not at the level I had prayed for. [Note to self - learn to accept God's Will and stop arguing with him. You may ask nicely, but you cannot demand and you must accept the answer!]

THE HOME

1. In 2005, shelves were built in my master bedroom closet in order to assist me in organization and cleanliness.

2. In 2006, I should actually put things on said shelves. They are the only clean thing in the house at this point. BFJ has offered to assist me in the cleaning and organization of the home and will seriously take him up on this offer.

LOVE LIFE

1. As there was nothing to "wrap up" in 2005 [or 2004 and 2003 for that matter, but we won't go there], BF Jerry is a welcome addition to this list and will happily be rolled over into 2006. [BFJ - please raise 1 arm stretched out above your head as it makes it easier for me to roll you that way... Kidding!]

2. In 2006, there will in all likelihood be some highly stressful event planning in my life per recent discussions between BFJ and I. 'Nuf said and the reason I need a few of these other things handled and organized!

KNITTING

1. I need to complete Kim's Knitted Thing, but am at the point where I absolutely need Pam at Bo Peep Fiber Shop's assistance. Luckily, I had planned on going in there tomorrow to get said assistance and am prepared! :)

2. I still have an irish hiking scarf to complete. The Irish Hiking Scarf angered me. Therefore, it has been banished. I wish I remember where I banished it to, though. That might be good to remember... The yarn is white, so I hope I put it somewhere where it won't get wet or dirty.... I better find that.

3. I have begun 2006 knitting. Why? Because I am neither at the point where I need assistance nor has it angered me and I just wanted to start. So there!

So as you can see, I am not in a position to begin a new year. I have decided that in order to reduce my stress leve, I will add a week to my personal calendar and be in complete denial that I am behind. So I am moving back New Year's a week. I hope you can all deal with that.

Do you think that will work?

Busy busy busy...

2005-12-28T11:07:00.000-05:00

Yes... I'm still alive! I survived Christmas! BF Jerry survived a 2nd and 3rd meeting of the family. Aeden even (sort of) sat still for a family photo! Wow! Malakai came home from the hospital on Christmas Eve and is... CANCER FREE!

It was a weekend of Christmas miracles.

O.k. so very short, I know, but I have client's to call, an assistant to keep busy, and "discussions" to be had with Family & Social Services Caseworkers. I just wanted to let you all know that I'm alive and things are good. I have tons of pictures to post as soon as they come off of BFJ's camera! :)

Have a very happy New Year. (We are still allowed to call it New Year's Day, right??)

I have to work all day???

2005-12-21T22:11:00.000-05:00

O.k. so I know I haven't put anything on here. But remember when I said I was kind of like a case manager and had my own assistant now??? Ya... apparently that means I don't get to eat lunch anymore.

And since lunch time is when I usually write this... well... I'm sorry. Because as much as I love writing this, I love getting paid even more. And when The Law Firm of We Cheatum & How finds out I'm playing on the internet instead of devoting my life to making sure all elderly people's nursing home care is properly paid for... well then... I have a feeling they would say "You go now. Bye bye!"

So no lunch = no blog. And I am sad. Because unfortunately, this does not pay the mortgage kids... If I could find a way to pay the mortgage by writing this, I would. Trust me. It's easy. Takes about 20 minutes. Unless I'm devoting some of that time to by Naked Queso Burrito from Q'doba. (Hmmm... endorsement deal? Maybe get paid for this? Now there's a thought.) If I do have a Naked Burrito in front of me, count on about 30 minutes. It's nearly impossible for me to type, be funny and eat something so yummy at the same time.

I digress...

BFJ and I have had a busy week. Saturday night was the Friends Annual Dinner. I went, but BFJ could not attend because of work. Mean Boss Chris might just have to go down soon. We'll see. Sunday, we went to church and saw the Christmas Play, in which Middle Niece Becca may have possibly been the most bored looking Mary ever. It was cute, though. ;) Who knows... maybe she was just in character. Maybe Mary was bored hanging out in that stable waiting for Jesus to arrive. Maybe Becca knows something we don't. She is a smart kid after all... ;)

Then BFJ experienced Gray Bros. We went with my older brother Jeff and his family. They took us as my Christmas gift this year... because well... when you can't think of anything to get me for a major gift-giving holiday... food is always a good option and Grays is always the best option. So apparently, Big Brother Jeffy and BFJ had the following conversation when BFJ found out that BBJeffy paid for his dinner.

BFJ: Did you just pay for my meal?
BBJeffy: Yes.
BFJ: You didn't need to do that.
BBJeffy: Well, I figure I need to pay you to take her off our hands.

He will pay and pay dearly.... [evil laugh].

BFJ claims they won't have to pay him. BBJeffy probably thinks he's dillusional for that little fact alone. BBJeffy has played a few too many downs without a helmet, though, so you can't always trust his judgement. ;)

Last night, we drove up to Marion, Indiana to visit Far Away Friend Heather before she goes back to California. It was nice. We drove through my college campus and I showed BFJ the dorm I lived in, etc. The campus has changed quite a bit. All of the buildings they talked about building while I was there are actually complete. Took them long enough!

We had a nice visit with Heather, Brian & Lyndi. We drove through the Walkway of Lights at the Marion park. It's gotten bigger and tackier. Cool! Then we all had coffee at Tree of Life bookstore. Goodtimes, goodtimes...

I took lots of pictures this weekend. BFJ says his digital camera has been used more in the last 2 weeks than the whole time he's owned it... Oops! I'll download them tomorrow night and put them on here.

Well, I better go cuddle... as if my arm has to be twisted for that! Ha!

Busy busy weekend...

2005-12-19T11:50:00.000-05:00

This weekend, I don't think I just sat doing nothing at all. If I was sitting it was for a purpose. And that purpose was KNITTING! I sat for 6 hours straight Saturday working on Mom's blanket. Want to hear something funny? It's about 6 inches longer than it needed to be. Ha! I was done a while ago and didn't know it! So tonight I will get it to "ending on Row 12" and work tbe border. Then all I have to do is weave the ends and wrap it! Woo hoo! BFJ promised to take pictures of it when it's done and I will post them.

Next I will dedicate my life to finishing Friend Kim's Knitted Thing to be Named Later! Sorry, Kimmie, but the schedule is a bit behind due to my Malakai-induced depression and BFJ keeping me from heading too far into that area.

Friday night, I went to Friend Kelly's and watched a movie while knitting. This is when I discovered that the blanket was a little long, but that I would either have to take is apart quite and risk messing it up BIG TIME or just accept that it's too long and work it to a point where the border could be added. I went with working to the border. Mom might appreciate it being a little long so it can wrap around her tootsies when she's cold! :)

Saturday was marathon knitting day until about 3:30 when I got ready to head to the Friends Annual Christmas Dinner. The surprise dinner destination was Pauly's Italian Restaurant at Southport and 37 on the Southside of Indy and it was absolutely fabulous! Kudos to Friend Rachel/Red for picking such a great location! Then there were deserts and games at the "Fairview Clubhouse" where Friend Kim, Friend Rachel and Friend Nina reside with Missing Person Crystal, whom I have met once and know actually exists, but never see her! That was lots of fun. BFJ ended up not being able to come due to work, etc.

Of course, Sunday was the Christmas play at my home church where my adorable adopted niece Becca was Mary. She did wonderfully and should win an Emmy or something!

After church came the moment we've all been waiting for... BFJ experienced Gray Brothers. His take on it... "it was good." No excitement. No feeling that he will never be able to eat regular food again after this experience. It was just good. Hmmm... serious questions about his mental status and whether or not he should be allowed to live in Indiana arose. He did concede that it was very good and we are still a happy couple.

After that, we were tired. We rented a movie and waited on my Far Away Friend Heather to call. She's home from California for a few days for Christmas and we were going to drive to Marion, Indiana to see her. She didn't call until 9 p.m., though, so we didn't go. We are going tomorrow night. It was probably good that we didn't go, though, because BFJ couldn't stay awake for the 25 minute car trip back to Franklin from Mooresville, so he needed some rest.

Well, since I have an assistant now... I need to remain available to her and should probably open my door for business again! :) BTW, she's wonderful so far and I'm happy to have help.

Hope you all have a happy Monday! :)

Weekend

2005-12-16T11:38:00.000-05:00

Hmmm... I don't have a distinct topic for today's post. Nothing major is happening. BFJ and I are doing fine. The fish are all still accounted for, but Ted does have more spots.

I went to JoAnn's to get a tape measure for sewing so that I can check my progress on Mom's blanket. While there, I of course ventured into the scrapbooking section... because you know... I don't have enough projects to do! I bought a scrapbook for BFJ and I. Well, for pictures and memorabilia of he and I. I don't really foresee his assistance in the creating of pretty scrapbook pages. Ha, ha! [I'm sure he's going to say 'hey now!' He, he, he!]

It's a pretty cool looking scrapbook. It has different color squares all over it in primary colors with a red ribbon down one side. I then bought these stickers with letters in them that are puzzle pieces and clear. I put the puzzle pieces over the colored squares to spell Jerry and Melissa. It look pretty cool.

Now we just need pictures for it! Ha! I do have the envelope from the first ever invitation received for the two of us specifically. That caused a little bit of confusion let me tell you! I was going through the mail and noticed an enveloped address to "Melissa [last name] and Jerry". I said "Jer... why are you getting mail at my house with me?" He came in and said "What?" I showed him the envelope and we pondered who knew the combination of my address and that we're dating at the same time. Besides my Mother, who I knew would never at this stage of the dating process put his name on my mail, we couldn't figure it out until...

I recognized the address... See The Friends Who Live Together had cleverly nicknamed their house the Fairview Clubhouse and that's what the return said. I, however, recognized the street address and we had a good laugh.

And behold The Friends WLT provided us with my first scrapbook item and a reason to purchase said scrapbook supplies! Thank you TFWLT! :)

Moving on... last night BFJ revealed to me how far his love of weird kung fu movies goes and we watched something called Shaolin Soccer. Now... I was half asleep during this movie, but I still wanted to severely make fun of it. But of course, per my normal course, I kept silent during the first showing out of respect until he said "I thought you'd have fun making fun of this." So next time we watch it, and yes... there will most likely be a next time because of 2 reasons:

1. I love BFJ and am still in that "honey we can do whatever makes you happy" stage, and...
2. This movie is screaming for me to play "Mystery Science Theater" with it! [For those of you who don't know what that is... it's where a man and a robot are shown at the bottom of the screen while a very old and very bad science fiction movie is playing and they make fun of it. This is my kind of entertainment!]

So next time we watch it, I will give this movie the proper amount sarcastic comments that it was made to have! Ain't love grand... ;)

So tonight there will either be dinner with Friend Kelly or knitting. Maybe both... we'll see. Tomorrow there will be cleaning! The disaster that is my guest room as infected the rest of the house with the things that need wrapped for Christmas and I'm about to suffocate under the clutter! There will also be knitting and hopefully, if Homeland Security will allow it, Meghan is supposed to call me from Germany!!! Woo hoo! :)

Tomorrow night is the Friends Annual Christmas dinner so please amend the above paragraph to include laundry to find an appropriate Christmas dinner sweater to wear! Then Sunday, is the Christmas play at Camby Community Church where my adorable 10 year old niece will play Mary. BFJ will be revealed to my home church of crazies.

After church, Kelly and I will change BFJ's life forever (or at least his eating standards) when we introduce him to Gray Brother's Cafeteria! I am drooling just thinking about it! I'm glad that we're doing this before he gets his Indiana driver's license and plates because frankly, I think that anyone who doesn't like Gray's should be denied Indiana Residency!

So this will be a test! Major test! If he doesn't like Grays... well... it will be the hardest thing I've ever done, but I will give up 1 or the other. I'm not even going to think about which I will give up until Sunday after the verdict is in. I would prefer to never believe that someone doesn't like Gray's! However, if he doesn't like it, wow... I dare not even think about it... I guess I could just go to Gray's when he's not around, but why would I not want to share this wonderland of food with The One I Love? I'm saddened even considering the possibility!

O.k. I've now caused myself a great deal of stress with this epiphany. I need to go ponder this with Co-Worker Amanda, who is a native of Mooresville and will understand my dilemma!

I hope you all have a great weekend and are getting much Christmas shopping done! Buh bye!

Pictures Compliments of BFJ

2005-12-15T21:36:00.000-05:00

Here are the pictures from Tuesday Night's Initiation of BFJ into the Family...We'll send him on his first "hit" later... [For those of you wondering, yes, that was a very bad mob joke... I'm not at work and I'm tired, people, work with me here!]

Malakai unwrapping...

The Gerbil unwrapping...

My younger brother and his wife with The General and Haeleigh in the background....

And last but not least, THE GENERAL!

Before I get the normal barrage of emails... you're absolutely correct! There are no pictures of me and BFJ! Very good, Captain Obvious! The batteries called it a night shortly into the picture taking and I was, once again, relieved of the obligation of having my presence at a family function confirmed by photo evidence! Woo hoo!

More news tomorrow! I have cuddling to do!

Hide and Seek

2005-12-15T11:29:00.000-05:00

Last night, I was sitting on the couch playing catch up on the Bible study that BFJ and I are working on together and I realized something...

I hadn't seen Bob in the tank for a while.

WHAT? Where could he possibly have gone???? He can't get out! Can he? I mean, he IS Bob The Godfish. He has powers that one tiny Golden Gourami fish should just not possess. Ted was swimming around happily and I had to wonder "Did Ted finally take Bob down?" I was pondering this when Bob came out from behind the water filter and plant in that corner and I swear he smiled at me in a way that said "Had ya worried, didn't I?"

I know... you would have thought that with BFJ occupying most of my time, I wouldn't be so obsessed with Bob. But, Bob is my fish and I care about him. BFJ even checks in on him. I told BFJ when he got there a few minutes later that Bob had been MIA and he was worried. See... my craziness has spread. Dating BFJ didn't end my craziness as you hoped it would! I simply have taken BFJ under my wing and taught him my ways! [evil laugh]

In fact, BFJ and I were taking a good look at Ted the other day. He has spots now... Are Silver Dollars supposed to have black spots suddenly? He does have one orange spot that's making me nervous, too. Can you take fish to the vet? Is it worth it? So now my pretty silver fish is spotted... Hmmmm... maybe I should get a couple more and see what happens.

Should I upset Bob's world further by trying again with more fish in the tank? I will keep you updated.

Mom's blanket is going to get some attention tonight. I need to get it done. There are 10 DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS PEOPLE! What the heck??? I have soooo much knitting to do, it's not funny and I might need a day off! I should bring Friend Kimmie's knitted thing in to work to do during lunch, but then I would just take flack from you people for not posting. It won't take too long anyway and I actually need to do that at the knitting store with aide from Knitting Guru Pam. I want to be Pam when I grow up. If I ever grow up. :) You should visit Pam's website and shop. If you don't know how to knit - LEARN! Ha! :)

O.k. well I need to commence with moving offices. Lots of stuff to be organized before the heavy lifters come! And no, it's not BFJ. I don't subject him to helping me outside of my home yet. :) Plus, he won't be off work in time to help and I don't want to wait that long! Ha!

Loveyoubyebye

It Went..... WELL????

2005-12-14T13:09:00.000-05:00

It went well. My earlier feeling of needing to find some kind of nuclear bunker to live in until they met is over. It went well. BF Jerry was amazing. He had discussions with my Dad about manly things (I think, I went in the kitchen with my Mom during this because well... I was being ignored!) and joked around with my brother. He even played Pirates with The Gerbil. Because for some reason The Gerbil's first words to every one are "Who are you?! Be a Pirate!" Weird, but that's The Gerbil for you!

Actually, the first conversation between The Gerbil and BFJ went something like this...

Me: "Hey... can you say hi to Jerry?"
TG: "What?" (with the squinty eye look he gives you when you are interrupting him from play time)
Me: "Say hi to Jerry?"
TG: "That's not the other Jerry. The other Jerry lives at church!"
Me: "Right, this is a different Jerry. Can you say hi to him?"
TG: "Yep, that's not the other Jerry."
Me: "You're not going to say hi are you?"
TG to BFJ as he's walking towards the Christmas presents he just discovered: "Hi."

Later, he discovered that BFJ will play with pirates with him. That conversation went like this.

TG: Play pirates with me!
BFJ: O.k.
TG: You be the one with no hair
BFJ: You mean the bald one?
TG: No, the one with no hair!
BFJ then decided to just go with the flow.... ;) Probably easier that way....

So not only did BFJ get unanimous approval by the family (so far and according to Mom), but we had DTR last night! Wow, big night in the relationship! [For those of you just joining us recently... DTR means Defining The Relationship.] The contents of the transcript of said DTR are privileged and have been revealed to those with specific access to these types of information.

Most of the DTR information will only ever be discussed between the 3 people participating in the relationship. 3 you ask??? Yes - 3. Me, BFJ and God. ;) Beyond that there are different levels of privilege. I won't get into that. We just don't have that kind of time!

In other news... I'm getting an assistant! Wow... wait... I was the assistant. I don't want to be in charge!!! HELP! Someone send me a boss! I don't want to be the boss! I specifically did NOT go to law school because I didn't want to be in charge of cases! How is this happening? WHY AM I NOT GETTING A RAISE?

Nothing else of note is new. Yes, we took pictures last night. About 3 before the battery died and BFJ realized he forgot the extra batteries. Oh well... I'll try to get them posted tonight or tomorrow night. This will require coordination with BFJ as to when he can help me get them off his camera and onto this website. :) Coordination of schedules sometimes comes after cuddling, so it could be a while. Kidding...

Well, I hope you all have a wonderful day!!!

[Co-Worker Amanda... Cue the doves...]

Unveiling of The Boyfriend

2005-12-13T14:09:00.000-05:00

[CUE SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

Tonight BF Jerry will meet THE FAMILY. I promised him that if he could make it through just this 1 night, we never have to see them again if he doesn't want to. Please? I mean, really, please can we never go see them again?

Kidding... I love my family. They make life interesting that's fer durn shur. [Love the Kentucky dialect, don't you?] Besides, eventually I may be able to say I knew someone who had an episode of Jerry Springer dedicated solely to them. Who knows?? [When I make that claim... I may inadvertently (ya right!) leave out the part where I'm actually related to said Jerry Springer Guest.]

Anyway....

So BFJ is meeting the fam tonight and hopefully all will go well. I have already enlisted Malakai's help in ensuring that Grandpa and Daddy do not pick on BFJ too much. Because you know... Malakai likes BFJ and it's always good to have the kid with cancer on your side in these things. ;)

I think BFJ is fine with meeting them all. It's me who's a nervous wreck. They haven't met a new boyfriend of mine since I was like 19! That's about 10 years people! I have managed to keep my family life and personal life seperate for 10 STINKIN' YEARS! To merge the 2 seem unthinkable to me! And stressful! And not necessary if I think really hard about it. Hmmm....

I know, I know... they should all meet. It was tempting there for a minute. I told BFJ last night that it's so nice when it's just the 2 of us. Do we really need to include families in this? He just smiled and said "Yes."

I had deja vu from watching "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" during this moment we had when I was debating the necessity of subjecting him to ... er ... I mean having him meet my family.

You know... I could be making too big of a deal out of this. I know they'll be nice. I know they'll be loud and maybe argue a little and the kids will act like they've completely lost their minds, but they'll be nice to him. My Mom will smile a lot, my Dad will ignore him and my brother... well who knows what he'll do. The last time a guy came home with me, I think he stayed in his room smoking something that may or may not have been legal. Hmmmmm....

So things tonight will be fine... just keep breathing and remember that it doesn't really matter what they all think of each other as long as they can survive major holidays together, right?

In other news... Mom's blanket is going well. BFJ promises to take a picture of it when I'm done so I can post it here. We're going to take pictures tonight too. I'll try to get them posted tomorrow or the next day.

Because seriously... why actually buy a digital camera when I found a cute guy who owns one?! Hellooooo? Bonus!

Family Christmas = Please Shoot Me Now!

2005-12-09T14:53:00.000-05:00

Why does Christmas have to be stressful? Isn't this the time when we celebrate Jesus' birth and are supposed to be happy and more understanding of each other and spread good will and cheer? I see this happening every where EXCEPT AMONG MY OWN STINKIN' FAMILY!!!!

Malakai is coming home today and going back into the hospital the 19th. So we have 1 week of "normal", right? And in that time, Malakai would like to have Christmas at home. He will of course, try to stay awake at the hospital to see how Santa can sneak up to the 5th floor without nurses, doctors and/or hospital staff seeing him. This kid is amazing in how he can find the positive in things.

So do we think that the family can be accomodating and have a Christmas celebration for Malakai? Have pigs flown out of my rear yet? OF COURSE THEY CAN'T! This day isn't good for so-and-so and this date certain people will be here.

PEOPLE... THE KID HAS CANCER AND ISN'T DOING SO HOT... CAN'T WE JUST SET ASIDE OUR OWN AGENDAS FOR 5 FRICKIN' MINUTES AND HAVE A PARTY FOR HIM??????

Of course, because I am PERFECT, I told my family that I would be at Malakai's Christmas whenever and wherever they chose to have it. I will rearrange my schedule to accomodate the poor, sick little nephew who just wants to see his family at CHRISTMAS! Geez... we have our own Tiny Tim and no one even realizes it!

So BF Jerry and I will attend 2 Christmases, neither of which involve his family. I have one this coming Tuesday with Brian/Rheagan/Malakai/Aeden/Haeleigh and BF Jerry & I celebrate with my parents again on Christmas Day! And if Malakai does have a party the 17th at his house (the one my parents are not attending and the major source of bickering), we may attend that one too. Because frankly, I will go to as many Malakai Christmases as I can! THERE!

I plan on knitting this weekend while I am snowed in because frankly, BF Jerry has thrown the knitting for Christmas schedule WAAAAAAYYYYYY off. Not that it's his fault. It's mine. I love having him around and one cannot properly sit with "head on shoulder with his arm around me" and knit at the same time!

O.k. I hope you have a wonderful weekend and Christmas! Love you all! See you Monday!

I'm Sorry Already!

2005-12-08T11:54:00.000-05:00

O.k. it's been "mentioned" (that's putting it mildly) that I have been neglecting my duties as your primary source of entertainment for the last 2 days. Seriously, what did you people do BEFORE me??? Read a book! Those are those thick things with the pieces of paper in between that tell a good, long story. Or get a LIFE! It's your choice! Kidding....

The reason I haven't felt much like writing is that things have been a little stressful in the Land of Mel recently. Malakai's treatment didn't work. St. Jude's doesn't even have a cure?! Every time a treatment fails, it gets a little harder to recover, put on a smile and say "the next one will do it." There aren't too many more "next ones" so we need one of these work like... YESTERDAY!

So Kai gets to come home tomorrow. He'll be home a week and we will try to squeeze Christmas in before he goes back on the 19th. There is much, much bickering among the clan about when said Christmas celebration should be held (yet another source of stress). The Land of Mel is neutral... like Switzerland... so we just said "let me know when and where" because honestly, I have this thing about dropping everything to be with my nephew for important things.

On the 19th, Kai goes back into the hospital to try a regimine (sp?) of chemo that has never been attempted on a child before. The question is "how much do we give him and how often?" Too little will do nothing. Too much causes overdose and kills him. (For those who might be slow to catch up, this would be the main source of stress right now. It's also the MAIN TOPIC OF PRAYER!)

Unfortunately, BF Jerry has been sorely neglected the last few days. Not in physical presence, as he has been at my side as much as I will allow him to be and hadn't even seen his brand new niece until last night because he was taking care of me, but mentally. I found out that the treatment didn't work and I just kind of quit talking. However, BFJ is so wonderful that it hasn't mattered and he lets me sleep/cry/be silent/worry on his shoulder no matter how uncomfortable my position may be for him. [Note to BFJ - I'm pretty easy to move when I'm sleeping (physically and/or mentally). Just put me where I'm not causing you pain. ;)] He has, however, made it clear that he is here to support me and isn't going anywhere and I should just get used to it.

Ummmm... keep those foot massages coming and I'm good! ;)

Seriously, I just hope that I can be as wonderful to him as he is being to me.

Well, I need to do actual work today. Hasta la pizza!!!

[NOTE - if you believe in our Lord at ALL... could you please pray for my nephew and my family?! Thank you!]

Could it be the Doves?

2005-12-05T11:29:00.000-05:00

So I just have to say that things are going well right now. Malakai got his last round of chemo at midnight Saturday night/Sunday morning and he's feeling great! I guess this type of chemo works it's way out of the body fairly quickly. He even argued with me and got out of bed to beat me at Sorry! Woo hoo!

And BF Jerry came up to the hospital with me to meet him. And they ganged up on me and picked on me and had a great time! Malakai wasn't quite sure what to do with BF Jerry, and kept looking at him sideways. He just kind of ignored him until BFJ started ganging up with Kai to pick on me. It was a good visit, though.

BF Jerry being so wonderful with Kai made more doves fly out of my head, of course. I think the doves are starting to affect my life. I'm beginning to wonder if people can see them...

See, I tried to call Far-Away-Friend Meghan in Germany Saturday morning. I had the phone numbers. I had spent all kinds of time learning from my internationally traveling father how to make international calls and determine time zones based off of Greenwhich Mean Time and other odd things... only to find out that my cell phone has this little map on it that if I just put the dot on the area, it will tell me the closest major city and what time it is there.... hmmm....

Anyway... I try to call Meg and I'm excited because I'll get to hear her voice! And I'm about to cry because it's been rough this year what with the sick nephew, stressful job and now the forever-best-friend moving to Mars/Germany/what's-the-difference-since-I-can't-drive-there country. And I just wanted to talk to her. I want to tell her about BF Jerry up-to-the-minute and her having to be a day behind because of time zones and email.

So I dial all of the numbers (lots of numbers) only to get a message that says I'm not authorized to make international calls! SUCK! So I call Sprint and ask them what to do and they put me on the "international calling plan" for a mere $4/month and $0.27/minute. I have no idea if that's good or not. We'll see....

So I ask "can I call now or do I have to wait 24 hours for some reason?" They tell me.... "we add it to your plan and then a Sprint representative will call you and let you know when you're authorized." HUH??"

So I figure it must have something to do with Homeland Security and the fact that I want to call out of the country on a cell phone. And you know... I look like a terrorist, right?

Then this morning I was thinking... can Homeland Security see the doves? Do they wonder if the doves are real or if they have some kind of toxic nerve agent in them that they are going to spray?

As a result, I am apparently and possibly as we speak, being investigated by our Government so that I can simply call my roommate from college to tell her all about BF Jerry and Malakai. Your tax dollars at work, kids. ;)

Have a wonderful, Federal Investigation Free Day! :)

Treatment update...

2005-12-02T12:19:00.000-05:00

O.k. I can't be funny or entertaining today. I'm sorry. The following is Malakai's treatment update from yesterday and after reading it, I just don't feel like being funny. I don't like any of my buddies to be in pain. No matter whether that means they stubbed their toe or they have cancer, I don't like it. So no funny... sorry. Rheagan put the following on his Caring Bridge website.

[Before, we get to that. BF Jerry's new niece arrived yesterday morning and she and her Mom are doing well. BF's brother may still be sleeping after all the stress, though. Ha!]

TREATMENT UPDATE

There are two entries today. Directly following this one in the journal history is a Vacation update, for those of you who are interested in how Malakais trips went. We are beginning day three of Malakai's Chemo treatments. We are having a few side effects, and the first night was really terrible, but he is tolerating everything with all the strength and bravery he always has....he really is amazing. He is suffering from a lot of pain right now...the generalized areas vary from day to day, but the pain seems consistent. We know that it is being caused by his treatment, but we are not terribly certain what the culperit is. Malakai's counts are back under control again, and as of today, he is officially immune compromised....not yet neutropenic, but compromised, so if you visit, please be sure you are 100% healthy. Malakai is recieving chemo once a day for two hours over the next five days. We are basically at the halfway mark. We are trying this treatment blind....we are uncertain if he is getting the proper dose....too much?....too little?....and uncertain if the chemo he is recieving should be combined with another chemo agent, or used alone....a lot of trial and error this round, but we are ever hopeful. The ideal outcome of this round would be to gain remission, follow up with one to two maintentance rounds, and proceed on to another transplant as soon as we feel his body is ready. They are keeping a close eye on his liver functions, and we are having some problems with excess fluid retention, but so far, both concerns seem to be under control. Malakai and I spent hours yesterday decorating his room for Christmas. We are going to be pushing it to make it home by Christmas Eve, and Malakai didn't want to miss his favorite part of Christmas....the decorating....so his room is now equipped with Christmas lights, his very own Christmas tree and what may be a bit excessive Santa's winter wonderland scenes covering every wall. In case you didn't notice, I am no longer counting post transplant days...it doesn't seem relevant anymore, and if all goes well, we will be starting at day zero all over again soon. Please keep Malakai in your prayers, and keep the guestbook enteries coming. Malakai seems to guage his level of support by how many entries he has every day. It makes him feel cared about and unforgotten.

The Gerbil is getting gift certificates!

2005-12-01T11:49:00.000-05:00

Last night, I went out of my way to go pick up the Mean Hockey Jersey outfit, PAY TO PARK AT METROPOLIS!, return the Mean Hockey Jersey outfit at Old Navy and find an outfit that is in a happy color and doesn't talk back. So I bought The Gerbil the same pants in gray with yellow trim and a yellow fleece pull over with NO WORDS on it.

Does this appease his Majesty??? Apparently not! I called home to see if he liked it and not only do the pants not fit (even though I got the size I was told to get), he doesn't like the color of the fleece pull over. Luckily, knowing The Gerbil like I do, I left my Mom the receipt when I put it in her house last night. She can take him with her and get him something more to his liking! (Which I think would be a toy since when he opened the gift, he just said "there's just clothes in here?")

So my question is... at what point do you tell a 4 year old boy TO GET OVER IT AND JUST WEAR THE CLOTHES!? I mean seriously, are we not still bigger than this little 28 pound kid? Does he suddenly rule the universe? Do we even believe that he actually cares about the clothes?

So next year he's getting a Gift Card.

BF Jerry should be an uncle any minute now. His sis-in-law went into labor yesterday morning. If she hasn't had that kid yet, I feel sorry for her. [NOTE TO BF - call me and let me when she's had her.] Awww... I get to buy a baby gift! He, he! I love baby shopping! :) Apparently, though, so does everyone else because half their living room has been taken over by the baby stuff that they haven't put away in the nursery yet. Ha, ha! Well anyway, congratulations to the new parents!

O.k. I need to go now. Lunch is over! :) Have a great day! :)

Mean Hockey Jersey Words

2005-11-30T15:30:00.000-05:00

I apologize for the delay in writing this blog, but during lunch a car ran into the Mitchell Hurst building 1 block East of my office. Why would this mean that I couldn't write my blog today?

Because DUH! I was, of course and along with all of my co-workers, in Amanda's office watching all of the mayhem and maybe I was calling BF Jerry to tell him about the wreck. And because it was a white blazer and my little brother not only works at the other end of that block, but drives a white blazer, I had to call him at work to make sure it wasn't him. And then I was maybe talking to my Mother, who saw it on the news and realized 2 things... that it was possibly my building and my brothers car. I think she seriously thought she could have lost both of her babies in 1 freak accident! That would have been weird.

So like a good citizen, after things calmed down... Amanda took pictures with her cell phone when she walked to the Courthouse to file. ;) Which we can't figure out how to email to me so that I can post them here. It's the thought that counts right? Besides, the car was already gone and it's just a hole in a building.

The irony... Mitchell Hurst Jacobs & Dick (the law firm that owns and occupies the building) is a personal injury firm specializing in car accident law suits. She might as well just sign over everything she owns now. Because there are 2 people that you never want to hit with your car... a cop and a personal injury attorney. Good job, lady... (yes, it was a girl and she ran the light from what we've heard from people who watched the news and called to make sure it wasn't our building.) On the "how bad can your day get" scale, I would give hers a 10!

After I assured my Mom that all of her children were fine (I had already talked to Little Brohter Brian)... she says to me "we have a little problem."

Me: "what's the problem?"
Mom: "You know the outfit you bought [The Gerbil] for his birthday? The hockey jersey and matching warm up pants? He refuses to wear them. I couldn't get them on him for anything."
Me: "Oh, why?"
Mom: "He says they have mean words on them."
Me: "What?"
Mom: "He says they have mean hockey jersey words on them and he refuses to wear them."
Me: "Can I talk to him?"
Mom puts The Gerbil on the phone.
The Gerbil: "Hi Aunt Melissa. I put all the toys away all by myself!"
Me: "Good job! Can I ask you a question?"
TG: "What."
Me: "Why don't you like the hockey jersey that I bought you?"
TG: "It has the mean hockey jersey words on it and it's mean and says bad things to me."
Me: "Do you want me to buy you a different shirt?"
TG: "Ya..."
Me: "What kind of shirt do you want?"
TG: "The kind with no mean hockey jersey words and only has happy face words on it."
Me: "O.k. Grandma and I will take it back and get something else."
TG: "O.k. I have to go now."
Mom: "I guess he's done talking. Did he tell you if he'd wear the pants?"
Me: "No, we were just talking about the shirt."
Mom asks The Gerbil whether or not he can wear the pants or if it's just the hockey jersey itself.
Mom: "He says the pants are mean too. I think because they came with the hockey jersey."
Me: "Ummm.. o.k."

So in short, Mom and I will be taking the hockey jersey outfit back to find an appropriate "not mean" shirt and pants for him to wear. I would wonder if at 4 years old he maybe has already started smoking crack (since he thinks the shirt talks to him), but I remember his father being kind of weird as a kid too. Little Brother Brian spent one whole year of his life hopping through our house like a frog, so you can see that there might be some father to son brain damage there. (BTW, when a small child knows how to hop through a house like a frog at the speed of light and you trip him... he rolls until he hits the wall at the end of the hallway. But I still swear it was an accident. [evil grin])

Moving on... I got pictures of Far Away Friend Meghan from Germany! She is there and in one piece! Woo hoo! They looked to be having lots of fun sightseeing and the base housing looks much nicer than in New York. (She has hardwood floors! No fair!) She says that yarn is kind of expensive there, but sock yarn is cheaper so she might knit lots of socks. :) Cool!

O.k. I need to get some work done. That's been my day, though. Odd... not bad, mostly good, but definitely ODD!

Do we think he likes me????

2005-11-29T12:02:00.000-05:00

O.k. here's how you know that someone likes you. Last night, after having the absolute worst day of my life, I go get Egg Drop soup (because we know that his cures all ailments big & small) and rent the movie Stealth (Josh Lucas = HOTTIE!). See... I love Navy Uniforms. I also love Josh Lucas. Therefore Josh Lucas in a Navy uniform is possibly more than I can really handle. Anyway....

So while I'm watching Stealth, Tattoo calls...

And we will now take a short commercial break to rename Tattoo.... Last night we kind of discussed briefly where we are and made sure we're on the same page. {Note to The Girls - this was not the DTR. Not ready for the DTR yet.] And we are on the page that is we like dating each other and we're not inclined to date others. So not too deep and serious but at least there's no guessing. So I am hereby and until he should choose to no longer be a part of my life, renaming him... (cue drum roll)... BF Jerry.

I know what BF means, but that's between me and him and you can just draw your own conclusions. [evil laugh plays here]

So while I'm watching Stealth, BF Jerry calls to say he's on his way home from work and wanted to see how I was doing. This is about an hour earlier than I'm used to him leaving work since he's been working odd hours due to the holiday so I was a little shocked. I tell him I'm watching Stealth to which he replies "you didn't wait for me to watch it? I thought we were going to watch it together." Ummm... oops???

So I say, "well, I'm in my PJs and I'm sick, but if you can deal with that, you can come watch it now." And he says "Ok. I'm turning on your street now." Yikes! Time to run through the house trying to get ready and look more appropriate. My street isn't that long, so I make him promise to drive slow and give me a second. And he does because he's wonderful...

I let him in and almost immediately am coughing and sneezing. And then the complaining about the day I had yesterday starts. And I'm pretty sure between the drainage and the medicines, my breath stunk to high heaven. AND I feel yicky and feel like I smell yicky. And the pjs I was wearing... not made to be cute, they were made to be comfortable. So after I get done whining about my day and I'm fairly certain he's smelled me and wishes he hadn't come over... he just looks at me all sweet and concerned with the most amazing ice-blue eyes I've ever seen and says "is there anything I can do to help?" and rubs my back.

My answer... a coughing fit that made him think I was going to suffocate right there on the couch. Nice, huh?

And he stayed for a long while and we watched the movie and he put my old ratty blankie on his lap and I put my head down on it and he rubbed my back until I might have fallen asleep except for the coughing/sneezing/running nose fits. Then once the meds kicked in a little better, he went got his stuff out of his car that he was actually supposed to be working on that night to have ready for work the next morning... and I helped him with it. Because he's so so sweet and I couldn't make him stay up all night working on it since he came over and took care of me. And while we worked I asked him annoying questions like "if you won the lottery and could live anywhere, where would you live?" And we laughed (and I coughed and he coughed some too) and we had fun stuffing envelopes!

And after all that... he told me I'm cute and that he thinks I'm going to get sick of him before he gets sick of me. To which I replied "whatever dude!" (inside joke between he and I) and we both started laughing until, of course, I had to cough again.

So do we think he likes me????

[Side Note - Co-Worker/Friend Amanda claims that doves are circling my head today. I think that's funny!]

Happy Stinkin' Monday!

2005-11-28T12:44:00.000-05:00

I am possibly having the absolute worst day of my life. I woke up not feeling well (again... thank you allergies, ended up being late to work (that's a first... NOT!), and got here only to discover that most of the rest of the staff called in sick and the other half is leaving in about 13 minutes.

So I am rapidly eating a sandwich that the associate attorney graciously bought me about an hour ago when he was out to lunch in hopes that I can have documents copied when the clients from my 10:00 a.m. meeting (that was supposed to be at 2, but they showed up early) get back to pick them up before my 4 o'clock meeting! The fun part is, I didn't have prior knowledge of either meeting before I showed up this morning. I'm taking over meetings on cases I've basically never heard of.

The reason I'm tired is that I apparently forgot last night that I'm a responsible adult that needs a good nights rest and Tattoo stayed over watching t.v. way too late. I supposedly set an 11:00 p.m. curfew, but I looked at the clock and said "I'm not tired... 11:30 and not a minute more." He left at about 1:45 a.m. Nice, huh? Not his fault, mine. I know when I need to go to bed to be awake for work.

For those friends about to email me.... no need. I know my limits and as much as I may joke around, we know that I'm not irresponsible very often. K? Besides, he's cute... ;)

O.k. unfortunately, I need to resume the worst day of my life now. I have meetings and clients and Malakai to be concerned about... and all I really want to do is sleep.

Later!

Happy Turkey Day!

2005-11-24T15:55:00.000-05:00

Well, I am sitting here watching Detroit get their rear-ends absolutely kicked. About half way through the 3rd Quarter, my Mom says "I don't think Detroit is doing too well." Thank you, Captain Obvious. I love my Mom. She cracks me up.

All of the normal things have happened. I almost forgot to buy the rolls and panicked that maybe I woke up after the grocery store closed. Luckily Wal-Mart is open all day today, I believe. I bought more rolls than we really needed just in case and ran over to Mom's without make-up. Then of course, I had to tell my older brother all about Tattoo (we'll get to him in a minute) and explain to him that yes, I've already talked to The General and he approves. So Jeff and Dad have spent most of the day trying to figure out just how they will sufficiently torture Tattoo should I ever let them meet him.

I've passed this laptop around about 5 times showing his pictures off... Jeff has actually memorized his profile on Match. Tattoo... I'm sorry. I'm just apologizing to you now.

Things with Tattoo are going very well. I really like him. He's a great guy and I'm happy that we are at a point where we can start dating.

The fish tank is doing really well. Bob and Ted are fine and I've pretty much accepted the fact that these are the only 2 fish I can have.

Right now The Gerbil (the 4 yr old nephew) is walking around telling everyone that he's an angel and all of our dreams are coming true. He's so cute.... The 14 year old is taking all of the Matchbox cars and making a "parade" out of them for The Gerbil by lining them up in order by color. She must be bored. The 10 year old keeps getting stuck playing with The Gerbil. Funny... The Gerbil seems to be able to walk up, take your hand and be in control of you for the rest of the day. Or for as long as you'll let him, anyway. At least today, I'm off the hook. He has the girls to entertain him.

O.k. I'm ready for my nap now. I guess I'll be back Monday when I have to work again. Yuck...

Holy Conference Calls Batman!

2005-11-18T18:09:00.000-05:00

O.k. I need a raise of hands of those of you who know that I'm not a morning person... Good. We're all on the same page.

I had to be at work at 7:30 a.m.!!!!!!

But I actually got there at about 8:00. The thing is that was got to set my own starting time, so I just told me that I had to be there at 7:30 in order to actually get me there by 8:00. Tricky, I know....

See, I had a conference call at 9:30 a.m. with a case worker on my very first Medicaid case EVER! I can't believe that I'm still working on this case either. It's not even hard! Anyway... I got ready and had my conference call and then had to get more information that by the way, I've given them THREE DIFFERENT TIMES! And we had another conference call at 2:45. And I'm STILL not done because I have to go into work tomorrow and make sure I got a fax and send it down to the caseworker so that maybe, just MAYBE, I don't have to have a Hearing first thing the Monday after Thanksgiving!

Needless to say, I ate popcorn for lunch while I was hoping that showing her the absolutely irrelevant bank statement for a month that doesn't even apply to the application for the third time would actually satisfy her that my clients, who are BTW the perfect example of a client who needs to be on Medicaid, are actually eligible!!!!

And I tried very hard not to laugh when my boss yelled at her on the phone (again because he yelled at her last week too) and at her County Director and basically told them that he thought they were incompetent and they didn't even have an answer. There was just dead silence on the other end of the phone. I wanted to jump up and down and cheer for him.

Luckily, the firm closed early today and we all went to Rock Bottom Brewery for an early dinner on the firm. Woo hoo! Then my boss not only basically tells us we're getting good Christmas bonuses because we got a huge settlement check on a case against the state that we settled, but hands us each $100.00. YES!

So The Daddy (because he's not The General when I want something, DUH!) and I are going to finish building my closet on my week off. I will finally have a completely organized bedroom closet with doors and everything! Wow! I might even put things away instead of just piling them in front of the closet doors that are propped up against the wall. I'm so excited. I may not even need them to buy me anything for Christmas... o.k. let's not go that far.

Tattoo and I are still friends and having fun talking. He needs to stop keeping me up on the phone so late, though. ;) I now have to be "approved" by his brother. I have to be approved???? Blasphemy!! I mean, this is MY state... I grew up here. I have references here... they should have to be approved for me to let them live here, don't you think??

O.k. well, I came to The Parents' house to help with Haeleigh, but she was ready for bed when I got here, so... lucky for me, eh? ;)

So I'm going to go wander Wal-Mart for a while. Because it's been a whole 24-hours since I've been there and it will miss me if I don't show up. ;) I'm off work next week and may not post every day. I'm sorry, Friend Kelly. Tell Person Nate I said hi and that since I've talked to him on the phone, I might move him up to Acquaintence Nate, but I have to meet and approve before he hits Friend status.

So if you're all wanting something fun and/or inspirational to read, check out "Kim's Blog". The link is over on the left side there somewhere.... ;) No pressure, Friend Kim! Love ya! Everyone have a great Thanksgiving!

Living in Siberia

2005-11-17T11:47:00.000-05:00

This morning I woke up completely warm and comfy to nice quiet country music on my alarm clock radio-thing. I was dreaming that it was Saturday and I didn't actually have to get up out of this cozy little home that I had built in my bed. See I had managed to wrap my down comforter and blanket (yep a down comforter AND a blanket)around me I think twice with my arms pinned around my afghan that I was using as a pillow and I was in some sort of ball in the exact middle of my queen-size bed. I was comfortable and I was warm.

UNTIL... Annoying Announcer Guy interrupted my harmony with reality and announced that it was Thursday and not Saturday and I would be forced to venture out into Siberia to go to work. Luckily I own about 7 coats and a million different hat/glove/scarf combinations to match even my under-clothes, so I'm good. One of my coats is even down-filled and fleece lined so that if for some reason my car were to break down on the highway and I had to wait the whole 5 minutes for one of those Hoosier Helper vans to pass by, I could survive the cold.

Will I ever stop whining about the cold, you ask??? Yes, when I get used to it or my brain freezes, whichever happens first. I'll keep you updated as to when that might happen. Usually I stop whining and accept it about the day before it starts getting warm again. I, however, will promise you that I will not whine about it on here every day... maybe just every other day.

Knitting is progressing slowly. Last night I worked on Mom's blanket for an hour or so. The Irish Hiking Scarf is still in Time-Out and I have told my boss that it will not be done and wrapped and presented to her at her going-away lunch tomorrow. I am also still slowly working on the Sophie Bag. I decided that I'm going to make Fuzzy Feet slippers for Malakai in bright orange, but I'm not going to start them until after my other projects are done. (Ya, I don't believe me either and think that's funny, too!) The reason I know that this will have to wait? I'm out of needles to put new projects on!!! All of the projects that I would start require the needle size that I currently have projects on! So HA! I will have to stick to my vow to finish what I've started. Or I could just buy more needles... hmmmm... I'll have to think about that. No, No... I will not because I asked my Mom for the Denise Needle Set for Christmas so I will refrain...

O.k. place your bets on how long I can hold out to start these slippers for Kai in the comments section.

Bob and Ted are doing good all alone in that big tank. Nope, didn't buy more fish. I remembered that I needed to get The Gerbil his birthday gift because he'll be 4 tomorrow. I bought him an Old Navy Hockey Jersey and a pair of warm-up pants to match. Oh and there was all of the shoe shopping. Because shoes are like Pringles to me. I can't buy just 1 pair! Thank Heaven for the DSW clearance rack. Besides, I had to have a shoe box to wrap The Gerbil's gift in, didn't I??? Duh!

Well, I guess I should go work. BTW, Tattoo if you're reading this and you just got out of bed because you could hibernate and skip Siberia because you don't have to work today... YOU SUCK! ;)

Talk to ya'll later!

Happy Wednesday!

2005-11-16T11:13:00.000-05:00

So today I am happy, focused and just generally content with life. I'm not so sure why because there's no Prozac involved in this little feeling of euphoria, but I am. Who knows? Could it be because Bob has stopped his killing spree? Or maybe it has to do with Tattoo? Not sure, but I'm a happy person and it's not drug-induced. ;-)

Speaking of my little Godfish.... I noticed something about Bob. His eyes are this scary color of red that none of the other fish have (or had since most of them are no longer with us)... Hmmmmmm... Could Bob have Mad Fish Disease? Is there a Mad Fish Disease? Does Mad Cow Disease translate into other animals? Is it worth calling a vet over this (possibly like $100) or should I just put Bob in his own little tank and get new fish for the big tank ($15 for tank + $5 for new fish). O.k. I'm horrible at math, but I'm guessing that quarantining (sp?) Bob and getting new fish is a much better idea financially.

So this weekend, I will look into a new tank and some new fish. We'll see. I might just get 1 Silver Dollar for Ted. Because see... I bought Bill & Ted as a set. (Yes, Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure - I'm a dork.) Ted being without Bill is just making me sad. It's not natural. So I might just go get a new Silver Dollar to replace Bill. We'll see. No more suckers fish, though. I apparently don't have enough algae (which I guess is good?) to keep them fed.

In case you were wondering about my Mom's shrunken ankle. She recently discovered that the pair of support hose (she has to wear special hose for blood clots) she was wearing that day had somehow gotten caught in the agitator for the washing machine and stretched. So we can all sleep a little better tonight knowing that ankles do not just suddenly shrink overnight. I personally was sleeping fine because I knew that it was either the hose or her other ankle was a little swollen, but to humor her I acted relieved.

Malakai is in Disney World this week. I haven't heard whether or not they're having fun, but seriously... DUH! He's a kid and it's Disney World. There's really no such thing as a bad trip to Disney World is there? Unless of course the park was hit by terrorism or a tropical storm, I guess... I asked Aeden to tell Mickey Mouse I said hi to which he replied "I can't. I'M NOT THERE YET!" I just laughed at him.

Next week, they are taking Malakai on a short trip on the Zephyr train to San Francisco. Kai has always wanted to ride this train and has a model of it. O.k. actually the kid has every train ever made on this planet at this point. I think between the 2 sides of his family, while he's been sick, we have single-handedly boosted revenue for the toy industry tremendously. But Kai has always wanted to see the Golden Gate Bridge, so they are taking a short trip to do that before treatment begins. Mom will have both Aeden & Haeleigh. Because seriously, can anyone who has ever even heard about Aeden imagine him confined to a small train car for several days?? Ya, me either. Luckily I have next week off, so I can help with the kiddos. :)

Well, Friend Kelly has decided to leave me in the single world to begin dating Person Nate. I have yet to meet Person Nate, but have talked to him on the phone and like what I hear so far. Until I approve of Person Nate, he will not be moved up to status of "Friend Nate". I have a feeling he will pass through the confirmation process with flying colors. Just as soon as I get his criminal background check report from the State Police. (Note to self... call Chip about that...) Warning to Person Nate, Congress has nothing on me. Just kidding... ;) I wish them both the best! Oh and hey Person Nate? Ya, the single friends would appreciate it if we could still borrow Friend Kelly for Girls Night every once in a while? K? Thanks!

OH MY GOODNESS I SEE SNOW!!! No, no no!!! I hate snow! My next post will be from the sun, since I will need to move there until about mid-March. I broke out the big coat this morning because I just don't handle the cold well. Pitiful, I know. There will be lots of huddling under many blankets and watching DVD's in the evenings now. I will not emerge from my house before noon on a Saturday until Spring because I will be under my down comforter wishing that my Dad had taken his original job offer in Florida and I had been raised down there in the year-round warmth where I was obviously intended to live happily ever after!

Alright, this is getting pretty long... I guess I should work now. See you either on the Sun or next Spring. I'll let you know!!!

Morning coffee.

2005-11-15T11:43:00.000-05:00

Some of you are thinking... I know what this is going to be about since you know where I had my morning coffee and with whom I may have had my morning coffee... (again, those of you thinking "Sex & The City" version, STOP IT!). I met Tattoo for my morning coffee. Yep, we actually met.

It was good... He's very nice. And I will not relay the phone conversation that Kira and I had on my way to work. Because I maybe gave him the website address for this and that was stupid! Because I want to tell you what I'm thinking but I can't because how else am I going to act cool?! Hellooooo?!

For those of you just tuning in and don't understand that I might be just a little bit crazy... please refer to all posts related to "Bob The Attack Fish". K? It will all be clear after that. I promise.

So all I will say is that it went well and he's nice. So now he knows what I think if he reads this and if he doesn't read this (because who knows... he may not!), then [this is me sticking my tongue out at you, Tattoo! Kidding...].

O.k. moving on... because yes, other things are happening today and I vow not to spend the day thinking about my morning coffee... I heard the song November Rain by Guns N Roses this morning and I used to love that song. I remember sitting with my friends after marching band practice (All together now... "One time at band camp" - moving on!) on the back of Ross Vinelli's truck (if it wasn't his truck, he was there) and singing this song at the top of our lungs for some odd reason that I can't remember. Then I remembered that I was wearing my indigo blue Guess jeans with the buttons that I maybe bugged my Dad forever to buy them for me even though they cost an unholy amount of money that The General almost refused to pay and the buttons were actually maybe just a little hard to get undone. I also remember that for some reason I thought that those jeans would solve all of the world's problems for me and that somehow I would no longer be a band/swimming geek and Toby Hennessey would ask me out and I would become Prom Queen just because I had a pair of 5-BUTTON INDIGO BLUE GUESS JEANS! Oh to be 16 again! Actually, I just want to fit into that size jeans again!!! Ha!

O.k. I need to go... bye!

Monday...

2005-11-14T11:33:00.000-05:00

Today is Monday and a lot happened this weekend that could be the title of this post. So I will just call it Monday.

Malakai got out of the hospital Friday afternoon. He's feeling pretty good and will be leaving for Disney World later this afternoon. He's excited. I know he's feeling pretty good because he tried to beat the crap out of me last night. He and Aeden wanted my hat and I was having a bad hair day. It was good to play with them as if things are "normal" even though we know they never will be again. Haeleigh has discovered she has hands and can take her pacifier out of her mouth. She also discovered she has a voice and can use it as an alarm when her older brothers get on her nerves. Preview of what is to come, I guess. ;)

So Tattoo and I have been talking on the phone a LOT! I really enjoy talking to him. Things are going slow because of things going on in both of our lives, but that's good anyway. Why are things that are "for your own good" always frustrating?!

I have to report more losses in the fish tank. Yen died this weekend. He was the small Chinese Algae Eater. I think there wasn't enough algae for him or something. So maybe I should just stick with Bob & Ted. Apparently I can only handle fish in small numbers. I am a failure as a pet owner.

I a lot of knitting got done. Of course it doesn't help at all that I started a new project Saturday and worked on that a lot. Why would I need to get the old projects done??

Amanda and I are going to go swim tonight. I need to. I think it's been almost a month since I've been in the water. I'm going to be hurting tomorrow. Oh well, it will be good for me. :)

O.k. well... everyone have a great day! :)

Tattoo...

2005-11-11T19:30:00.000-05:00

So last night, Tattoo called... and we talked for 2 and a half hours! :) And I told him all about Bob and Ted and the recently deceased fish and we still talked for like another hour and a half and he thought it was funny! Huh?

Because you know that movie "How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days?" I have it down to about 5, people. Honestly... that's the average at this point.

I really like talking to Tattoo. And yes, that's all I'm going to admit to at the moment. You know why? Because I want to handle things correctly this time. I don't want to jump into a relationship, get to know him and THEN realize he's not right for me. So I'm keeping him at 'friend level' for the moment. Besides... it's only 1 phone call and this isn't an episode of Sex & The City. When thinking of Melissa's love life go more towards the Pax Channel if you have to compare it to a t.v. show.

I completely missed Survivor last night! What? How? you ask... I was visiting Malakai in the hospital. that's more important than Survivor...

Apparently, though, Bobby Jon got voted off. Gary is starting to work a nerve with me. I just don't like him. I just think he's too shady. Plus, I'm with Amy. If he made all kinds of money being a super-star NFL quarterback, it's not fair to the rest who might never have a chance at that 'income bracket' ever again. But of course, you know it's 'not about the money' to all of them, right??? Ha, ha! I still don't like Judd or Jamie. Steph is starting to bother me too. I really think Cindy should win, but we all know she won't.

Well, tonight Kelly and I are going to have chinese take-out and watch a movie. I wanted low key. Too much stress this week. I will be 'sans make up' and in my sweats. This would not be the optimal moment to meet Tattoo, but there's no chance of that. Tomorrow I will be attending the Knit Along at Bo-Peep in Greenwood and visiting Malakai wherever he may be. (He might be out of the hospital by tomorrow afternoon.) Sunday, church & a Colts part at The Girls house. Busy... when did I say I was doing laundry??? Ha, ha!

O.k. everyone have a good weekend! :)

Blah...

2005-11-10T18:07:00.000-05:00

Today I feel kind of Blahhhhh...

I'm mad at my parents and so I'm not in a very good mood, but I wouldn't say I'm in a horrible mood either. I'm just blahhhhh...

I'm mad at my parents because they forgot to tell me that Malakai is back in the hospital and that Rheagan and the doctors have come up with a "plan" of sorts. Here's how I found out....

After talking with an acquaintence who's husband happens to be very important on the Board of a charity that gives financial assistance to organ and tissue transplant patients, I called my brother to give them the information. Now, it was 11:00 p.m., but they stay up late and sleep late, so I wasn't really worried about waking anyone up.

However, Brian answered sounding very groggy.

Brian: "hello?"
Me: "Brian, can I talk to Rheagan?"
Brian (sounding slightly annoyed and confused): "She's not here. She's at the hospital."
Me (sounding alarmed): "why is she at the hospital!?"
Brian (sounding very confused): "Because they admitted Malakai last night."
Me: "WHY?!"
Brian: "Didn't anyone tell you his cancer came back?"
Me: "Yes, but I thought he was home and working on his list of things he wanted to do and there would be a meeting with the doctors Thursday."
Brian: "What meeting with doctors? Never mind. He got admitted last night because he had a fever and they wanted him to come in so they could keep an eye on it."
Me: "Ahh... I'm going to call Mom and find out why I wasn't informed."
Brian: "Whatever, can I go back to sleep now?"
Me: "Ya, sorry."

So I call my Mother at 11:15 p.m. and yes I knew she'd be trying to sleep. I'm evil, but I was mad at her. Because had this been the first time that she forgot to tell me something, I could have let it slide. But this is NUMBER 9! That's right, she has forgotten to tell me important things about Malakai's health 9 TIMES NOW!

So an argument ensues and she actually tells me "the phone works both ways you know." O.k. a valid point IF I NEVER CALLED HOME EVER! I had just talked to her the night before. So now I am apparently supposed to psychically know that I need to call her and ask if anything important is happening. Plus when I do call her, she's busy and can't talk to me anyway. So I was just going to call her Thursday afternoon and find out how the meeting with the doctors went. The Meeting that had already happened.

You would think this would be the end of this, right. Nope....

I call Kelly, upset obviously... to let her know that Kai is the hospital with a fever and could she pray and o.k. let's face it, I wanted to complain about my Mom a little.

Guess what?! Kelly knew! Yep... they announced Malakai's current status at choir practice earlier that evening. Kelly figured I already knew and was actually wondering why I hadn't told her. Funny how that whole "being Malakai's Aunt" thing actually makes people think that I know what's going on! You people are weird for thinking that family members would know before church choir members who have possibly never met the kid would know! I mean, come on! Seriously!

O.k. I feel better now... I am a little concerned that I'll never know what's going on with Malakai if I leave this in Mom's hands. There has been a time in my life when she actually forgot to tell me someone died, so I have reason to be concerned.

I was 18 and filling out my High School Graduation Announcements.

Me: "Mom, do you have Joe & Helen's address?" Joe was my Pap's best friend in Pennsylvania. Joe and I were close. I considered him another Grandfather.
Mom: "Ummmm... yes, but honey we need to talk. You need to just address the envelope to Helen."
Me: "Why?"
Mom: "Well, Joe died 6 months ago and I couldn't find a good time to tell you."

Now do you understand my concern? She has a history.

O.k. I'm sorry. That was venting at it's best, right there. This is much cheaper than therapy. And my parents don't know about this, I think... at least I know that if they do, they don't use the internet for such frivolous things and my Mom barely knows how to use it at all.

Fish tank news.... the fish are all still there and are actually acting like normal fish. No tunnel out of the tank yet for Bob.

Tattoo has my phone number, so we'll see if he calls. I like talking to him. I don't know if it will ever be anything more than friends, but we'll see. I like him so far, but you can like a LOT of people in emails. ;)

O.k. have lots of work to do! Love you all! More tomorrow.

Malakai the Amazing Cancer Fighting Kid

2005-11-09T11:43:00.000-05:00

Malakai has vowed that cancer will not win. He said he doesn't care if he spends the next 2 years in the hospital non-stop, he wants to kick cancer's butt! Has has a list of things that he wants to do before he goes back into the hospital, though, and is going to ask if he can still home until after Christmas. I think he should be able to get everything on the list done by Christmas. If you want to read about his list and see pictures of him with hair, visit the link listed for CaringBridge, click "Visit a Site" and put in malakaismiracle. That will take you to his page. Be warned... my sister-in-law writes his blog and it is a tear-jerker.

The song stuck in my head today is "Held" by Natalie Grant. Some of you have heard this song and know that it is about a family who's child died young. I have the CD and play it over and over and over... you get the point. It helps me remember that these are the times when the Lord is carrying me. I can't imagine how someone could endure this without knowing that the Lord is supporting them and loves them and will work this horrible circumstance into something beautiful for Him even if we don't get to know what that is before we get to Heaven. I can't imagine not knowing that if the cancer wins, I will see Malakai in Heaven and he will be waiting for me.

Malakai promised me that if he gets to Heaven first, he will ask the Lord why we have armpit hair! Yep... I have handed down my demented way of thinking to my young nieces and nephews. You thought I wouldn't corrupt them? You silly wabbits! I may have to tell him again, though, because a lot of his medication makes him lose his short term memory. This is great for things like telling him that the green blanket is Gramma's Christmas gift. Because basically once he crosses the room, he forgets, but for the moment he feels privileged being let in on the secret! :) I will, however, have to remind him of his promise.

I also wrote Tattoo a long email yesterday and let him know about the situation with Malakai. He was very understanding and very sweet about it. I'm kind of starting to like hearing from this guy. He's cute, too. Bonus! ;)

O.k. if you're sensing that we're going to have a Malakai-themed week, you might not be wrong. I promise to not let it get too depressing and to keep you filled in on what Malakai has accomplished on his list. Bowling has been checked off, btw.

In fish tank news... Ted & Yen are still alive and Bob & Ted seem to be getting along. I think I might buy a small shark and see how that goes. Although, Bob appeared to be attempting to tunnel out of the tank the other day, so I wonder if getting a shark will push him over the edge. [Yes, Bob was literally nose down in one of the corners trying to move the gravel. No idea what he was doing. He's a weird fish.]

For those wondering how I manage to notice what's going on in my fish tank so much, it happens to be in the line of sight from my recliner while I'm knitting so all I have to do is look up. Since Bob is usually doing something weird, I tend to notice.

The Irish Hiking Scarf gained about 25 rows last night. See, the thing about me handing things over to the Lord is that I then need something to occupy my mind so I don't worry about it. I think that worrying about things that you've already handed over to the Lord offends Him and I don't want to do that. So I'm thinking that my mind will need to be occupied quite a bit in the coming months and a lot of the knitting will get accomplished. I haven't worked on Mom's blanket, though, because the scarf needs done in the next couple of weeks.

The best friends ever awards go to Kira and Kelly. Kira came over Monday night in her sweats so I could cry and make her watch 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding'. Kelly has called to check on me and try to make me live a normal life a lot. They will be receiving knitted prizes too.

[When am I getting all of this done??? Oh, ya... when I'm not obsessing about things I have no control over... that's when!]

O.k. I hope you all have a great day!

Cancer Sucks

2005-11-08T12:45:00.000-05:00

It's a very good thing that I decided to write about the things I love yesterday. Last night I found out that my nephew's cancer is back and I just can't be happy today. I can't be funny. So if you came here looking to be cheered up, I'm sorry.

Right now, I'm just mad. I wanted him to be completely healed. I thought we were heading that way. He was looking good and acting normal. They were talking about decreasing medications and taking out his central line.

Then in 1 phone call from my Mom, the entire rest of my year changed. Malakai's cancer is back. So why does this change my life? Because I love my family. Because I'm not going to pretend that everything is o.k. when my brother and sister-in-law's world is completely falling apart. What kind of a sister or daughter would I be if I didn't mourn with my family?

Besides, I love him too. Malakai and I are buddies. We talk. I am probably a little closer to my nieces and nephews than a lot of people, but you know... since I don't have kids, one of these kids is going to pick my nursing home, so I try to make sure they love me.

So you know what I want right now... I want to go have a bone marrow transfusion with him. If I could, I would take this from him completely. I'll have cancer. I'll do chemo and maybe not survive. I'm ready. I'll do it for him! Just don't make him suffer one more day. Let me do it, Lord. Please. I'm begging.

Things I Love

2005-11-07T11:43:00.000-05:00

Today we will discuss all of the things I love, class...

Frankly, I think lately I've been a little hard on the World. There has been much negativity in this blog and I think that I should say something nice for a change. So I will now list the things I love.

1. I love that as long as I leave right at 11:00 a.m., I will be Jimmy John's on Pennsylvania Avenue's first customer of the day and it will take approximately 6 minutes for me to leave my office, go get a sandwhich and come back to my office. That's the meaning of fast food, people!

2. I love that Ted was chasing Bob in the fish tank yesterday and I actually cheered out loud for Ted. I believe this means that Ted might live to see 6 months old! Go Ted! (More news from the Fish World tomorrow!)

3. I love that my friend Kira runs the absolute cutest card shop in the Midwest! Visit her site at www.theartofkira.com. Don't forget to start worrying about your Christmas cards! She has many designs to choose from and they are CHEAPER THAN HALLMARK CARDS! I should say less expensive because they are a higher quality, but I will digress.

4. I love that Kira will let me sit in the corner of said card shop and annoy her all day on a Saturday or a day off from work or the entire 3 months that I was unemployed. Although, I did notice that the new furniture arrangement for the shop does not leave room for me to sit on the floor next to the cash register. We'll have to remedy that situation, Kira. ;)

5. I love that my friend Kira has listened to me promise to knit things for her baby room at the shop for several years now and has not complained at all about not actually seeing any of the promises come to fruition. (Is that how you spell fruition? Anyone? Anyone? Buehler?)

6. I love the knitting shop down the street from Kira's Cottage. I also love that Pam doesn't take a credit card or I would own EVERYTHING IN PAM'S SHOP. If you knit, you should visit www.bopeepfibershop.com. :)

7. I love that there are 48 days until Christmas and 6 months worth of knitting to be done before Christmas. Yes, I am saying that I love this because I might possibly be in denial of my abilities as a knitter.

8. I love that I have the entire week of Thanksgiving off of work so that I can work on said knitting projects. And I vow to love how much bigger my butt will get that week since I will not get off of it the entire time in order to complete said projects. I vow because it will be worth it to see the look of pure joy on my Mom's face when she realizes that the sage green blanket I've been working on is actually hers since she has hinted how much she likes it every time she sees it!

9. I love that my Friend Herb managed to not say anything at all Saturday night that made me want to stick his head in the toilet and flush it. This is a first, people. [Side note - I have never actually done this to anyone. I'm still trying to figure out how you get someone's head in the toilet when they will clearly be fighting you on this. Was anyone out there a school bully and can explain this to me??]

10. I love that my Mother is convinced that her right ankle has shrunk when it is clear to me [and possibly my Dad, but since he enjoys eating and having clean laundry he will not disagree with her on this] that her left ankle is just a little swollen. Let's keep in mind that she also thinks that chewing gum causes sores in her ears. She has a very complex explanation of this that involves her having TMJ and well... I think I would need a chart and a pointer to finish the explanation so I'll quit.

O.k. those are the things that I love... See, I can be positive... sort of! ;)

So much obsession with Bob so little time...

2005-11-06T14:55:00.000-05:00

O.k. I've had several comments about Bob and why am I not interested anymore and why did I screw it up in the first place. Well the answers are because he's Bob and I'm me. He's Bob and we are not compatible. I'm me and therefore, I completely mis-handled the situation, as I usually do. Thus being the reason I am still single to this day, I'm sure.

Don't worry, though, Bob is not the only man on Earth, I'm told. In fact, I think we should all remember that I have started emailing Tattoo. He seems to be a very nice man and fun to email. Anything more than that, we'll have to see about.

This weekend has been quite busy. Friday night I stayed home to do the crazy cleaning again. Saturday morning I had a Southern Living party. It was fun. Then Kelly and I went shopping and saw Jarhead. Then I went to dinner and hung out with The Friends. [Bob was not there, don't ask.]

Today I had lunch at the LS Ayres Tea Room at the Indiana State Museum with my parents. It was very nice. Mom liked her birthday gift. Now I'm here.

I would give you my opinion of Jarhead, but we don't have that kind of time. All I can say is that it was disturbing and I don't ever want to see it again. If our soldiers really go over there and completely disrespect other cultures the way several did in that movie, then no wonder they think we all need to be wiped from the Earth. Not to mention the actual war scenes. I'm not usually squeamish, but it bothered me. I am actually ashamed to say I saw something like that. As a Christian I should have higher standards. You can make comments here if you want, I don't care. I'll ignore them so you might as well not even bother.

A lighter moment from yesterday was that I got carded to get into the movie. Now... I'll be 30 in February. There's no way I can be mistaken for a 17 year old can I?

Bob the Godfish has killed George and Bill. I am now afraid that I might be the mother of a serial killer. I'm wondering if I'm going to have to get him his own small tank. I might do that. If he wants to be alone, he can, but he's not getting the big tank. I'm not rewarding that kind of behaviour! I will, however, separate him for the safety of the others. I vow to keep Ted and Yen alive!

Alright, well... I better go. More tomorrow.

The End of The World

2005-11-04T13:38:00.000-05:00

You are Revelation.

Which book of the Bible are you?
brought to you by

Mel, Your Comentator for the World Coming to an Official End

Is she crazy or on her cell phone??

2005-11-03T13:59:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I reported to you that I bought a very wonderful and freeing piece of technology - an earpiece for my cell phone. I've been having great fun with it, too! It's so nice to be able to talk and not be stuck to my phone!

Well, as I'm sure you're all aware, there has to be a glitch. You've met me right? There will be a glitch.

The glitch came last night when I decided that even though I was on the phone, I could still run to Wal-Mart and pick up a few things I needed. So off I go... I'm doing my shopping when it dawns on me that people are watching me and giving me a very strange look. And they are leaving the aisles where I am. And then a lady is the cleaning supplies aisle answers me when I asked Meghan a question.

It was then that I realized that I live in a small town in Indiana where not everyone has an earpiece for their cell phone and these people don't realize that I'm on the phone, they just think I've lost my mind! I explained to the lady that answered my question that I was on the phone and pulled my hair back and showed her my bright red earpiece. And she thought it was hilarious.

So did I stop talking on the phone, you ask? Heck no! Why look mentally stable in Wal-Mart?! I started laughing hysterically at what I must look like. Then I tell Meg "O.k. you have to be quiet until I get in the car." And I'm still laughing. I'm pretty sure that if I had started slapping myself in the head and saying "stop it, stop it, stop it" security would have been called. As it was, the guy in the car next to me got in very quickly and locked his doors. Meghan and I thought this was hilarious.

You know what... there really is no Meghan. It's just what I call my other personality. None of you have seen her or met her, so how do you know if she's real??? Hmmmm???? O.k. Kelly, Peggy & Jeff, Heather and many of you from college know her. She was my roommate and not in "A Beautiful Mind" kind of way. She's real. And she's moving to Germany in a matter of days! I cried again last night and called and woke Kelly up to make her assure me that she will be my friend for the next 3 years while the Army holds Meghan hostage in Europe.

Let's move on to good news, shall we??? Last night I had a blast at Dinner with The Girls at The Greek Islands. We were celebrating Friend Kim's new found freedom from that boy that used up all of her valuable time for the last 3 years. There were 8 of us and we were the only people in the restaurant. I saw some people I hadn't seen in a while and it was very nice. We're going to do it once a month, I think. :) I will love that! They are an awesome group and I love hanging out with them.

Tattoo wrote me back and he seems like a really cool guy. His first question was about my church, which shows promise. I am fairly excited about this and will be praying diligently about what the Lord wants. Wow... a decent guy... who knew?! He does have a name, but I think we'll just call him Tattoo for now.

All is calm in the fish tank.... Bob The Godfish still reigns supreme, but is allowing his subjects some more space.

I got NO KNITTING DONE last night. Didn't I buy that earpiece so I could knit more??? Well, there was the so much fun dinner with friends and being insane at Wal-Mart that I just went to bed when I was done. I had to go to Wal-Mart, too. Things like deodorant and toilet paper must come before knitting. I think 1 of the many chores my future husband will have will be to go to Wal-Mart to get toilet paper when I need to knit. I mean, seriously, I can't be bothered with these trivial things when there is knitting to be done!!

Tonight I have to go get fitted for a new bra. According to my doctor the reason I've been having chest pain is not that I'm dying slowly from all of the fast food I eat (I was shocked too), but that my boobs have outgrown my bra and are actually straining the muscles in my chest wall! So he said I had to get get fitted for proper bras. Neat...

Alright, well... I better go. I have a lot of things to do today and tonight. More crazy cleaning since I'm supposedly having a Southern Living party Saturday morning. This is becoming a nasty habit.

O.k. love you bye, bye!

Bob the Attack Fish

2005-11-02T11:37:00.000-05:00

I finally bought fish last night. I bought 2 Silver Dollars that are named Bill & Ted and another Gourami named George. George is a pearly white color. I also bought a Chinese Algae Eater that I named Yen.

And apparently my earlier assumption that Bob was lonely was wrong. I put the bag with the fish into the tank to let the water temperatures adjust and the new fish see their new home. Bob was curious of the bag and poked at it a bit. No concern, though, and I went and made dinner [called Papa John's... whatever]. After ordering dinner, I went to cut the bag and let my 4 new fish into the tank. I did this and again... walked away.

This narrative is to let people know that I do not seriously sit and watch my fish all evening. I have other things to do. I'm not THAT lonely. Geez people...

So I call Kelly back and happen to be standing next to my fish tank and notice that Bob is attacking the new fish! What the hay?! He's chasing them around the tank and they are literally cowering over by the filter in the plant. 2 of the fish were visibly shaking! As Kelly answered the phone, I was yelling at my tank "BOB STOP IT RIGHT NOW!" I think Kelly may have considered calling our Pastor and my parents, but I explained what was going on and that I was afraid for Bill, Ted & George's lives. [Yen seemed fine. He is little enough that he hid in corners that Bob can't get to.] So in order to figure out what's going on, I gave Bob a Time-Out. I put him in a bowl by himself where he could not even see the tank. I told him I would put him back when he behaved.

[Yep... Kelly still thought I was going insane.]

So a little while later, when I think that maybe the fish have all had time to cool down, I call Uncle Bill's Pet store. See, these guys assured me that the fish I picked would get along with Bob. I guess since they didn't know Bob personally, they weren't aware that he had lost his little fishy mind recently.

The fish guy told me that Bob had been in the tank by himself for a couple of days and considered it his territory. The fish would have to fight it out. He told me to turn the tank light out and the lights around them out so it's harder to see each other. I did this and they calmed down. This morning when I got up, I checked to see who survived Fight Night. Everyone survived and apparently had chosen their own areas of the tank. Bob did chase George a little when he came out to eat, but all in all, I think we'll be o.k.

Darn it Bob....

In other news, I had a little dilemma last night. There are 2 things that I love to do in the evenings. 1. We all know that I love to knit. [Hmmm... knitting and talking about my fish. Is the term "spinster" coming to anyone else's mind???]

The other thing I love to do is talk on the phone. However, now that my knitting projects are on a schedule [the Irish Hiking Scarf has to be done by Thanksgiving], I need to knit at least a couple of rows every night to accomplish my goals. Up until today, I was either in danger of dropping the phone, dropping stitches or having my head permanently tilted to 1 side. Not good....

So during the first part of my lunch today, I broke down and bought a headset for my phone. I will now always look as if you should be ordering fries from me. However, I did this for my friends who would have to have been abandoned in order to complete the projects on the Timeline. Now you all know just how much I love you...

In Match.com news... [anyone notice the transition from 1 pointless dating website to another???] I have been winked at by a guy who seems to be a strong Christian and lives in Franklin. I'm just getting this from his profile. So, I'll decide if I'm writing him in a minute. He doesn't have a name yet. He has a tattoo, though, so maybe I'll refer to him as Tattoo for now. I'll keep you informed.

Well, that's all the news that's fit to abuse for now! Have a great day!!! :)

And he will be named George...

2005-11-01T11:38:00.000-05:00

I decided yesterday that I might name too many things Bob. I re-read yesterday's blog and thought, "wow, that's a little confusing" since the fish and the guy I used to be mildly interested in were both named Bob. I also name the snowman in the display window at Kira's Cottage Bob. I apologize. I realize I have beaten the name Bob into the ground at this point. So now I need to think of other names for people, places and things that I don't want to reveal their true identity or I just think need a name.

George is a good one. However, I'll have to make sure that I don't run this one into the ground like I did Bob. So other names that I might use will be....

Fred... I love the name Fred for animals. I named the deer head hanging in Neighbor Brian's house Fred. Maybe one of the new fish will be named Fred. (I haven't bought new fish yet. I need to do that. Bob is still lonely.) The reason I love the name Fred for animals is because of the dog in the old Burt Reynolds movie Smokey & The Bandit. Fred was a basset hound that didn't walk. They carried Fred everywhere. He was hilarious. I loved Fred. I still love Fred whenever they show the movie on re-runs on Saturday afternoon... which you all know that if I am aware that that movie will be on t.v. on Saturday afternoon, I will actually stay home to watch it. I love it that much. I need to find it on DVD.

Again with the digressing...

Roy... Roy was the name of my Bass Clarinet in college. Friend John and I had joint custody of the Bass Clarinet and we named him Roy. I wonder what Roy is doing now... Hmmm... I wonder if his new parent and/or parents are taking good care of him. I need to call Dr. Lesley and make sure that Roy is doing well...

(For those of you wondering, yes my behaviour and wacked way of thinking go back to before college. A lot of good stuff was thought up in college while on long bus rides for Wind Ensemble. At least you guys have the option of not reading this... imagine being trapped on a bus with me for 10 hours! Ha!)

Mathusalah... that's probably spelled wrong, but you get the picture. He was the oldest person in the Bible. So everything old will be named Mathusalah. I vow to learn how to spell it before it's next usage, too, btw.

O.k. now that we know the other names I will use for things and why, I will move on.

I would like to say that the award for Strongest Person I Know has to go to Friend Kim this weekend... HANDS DOWN. Friend Kim planned an outing for friends that included her ex-boyfriend and handled it with an amazing amount of grace. I personally would have pointed him into the corn maze and headed for the car. But we know that I am much more vindictive than a good Christian girl really should be. She spent several hours with said ex without doing any of the following things that I might have done.

1. The aforementioned leaving of the ex in the corn maze.
2. Putting my shoe where the sun don't shine... [evil laugh]
3. Laughing when ex ran into a corn stalk damaging areas of his body dedicated to reproduction. (She even managed to sound sincere when asking if he was o.k. and needed medical attention.)
4. Crying
5. Screaming
6. Acting as if they had ever dated in the past at all!

So Friend Kim will be receiving as a reward a Knitted Thing to Be Named Later as her prize. Probably for your b-day, Kimmie, b/c well... I have to do the Christmas gifts, etc. first. Or maybe I will just buy her some really nice yarn because Friend Kim is a knitter and would appreciate nice yarn and would know how important it is that I gave up nice yarn without getting to be the one to make it into a Knitted Thing... ;) We'll see... it will be a surprise.

O.k. Kids... I must work. I need the money. If I ever don't need the money, this place is in for a big shock! ;)

Bob is lonely...

2005-10-31T19:01:00.000-05:00

Well kids, I am down to 1 fish. Yep, that's right, 1 fish. I returned home Saturday afternoon to find that Helio died while I was away. Was is lonliness that Helio died of do you think? Did I not go buy Helio new brothers and/or sisters fast enough? Why did he leave me? Did Bob kill him??? No... Bob wouldn't do that. Bob would have to acknowledge his existence in order to harm him.

And yes, it's sad that I think this much about fish. This was pointed out to me by Bob Saturday night at the Corn Maze Saturday night. BTW, I'm not so impressed by Bob after being stuck in a car with him for an hour & a half. Definitely not my type and I made a point of sleeping on the trip back to avoid conversing with him, but that's all I'll say.

I went to a Corn Maze Saturday night. It was 15 acres of walking through corn and hoping no one jumped out at me with an axe or chainsaw or knife. Friend Kim assured me this was a non-haunted corn maze. I figured that just meant that there would be no "organized" haunting of the corn maze and I was right. About halfway into our trek, someone jumped out and screamed. I proceed to lose all of the oxygen in my body screaming and tried to climb up Acquaintance-that-I'm-not-sure-is-a-Friend Scott's back. I may have started to cry, too. Thinking back though, I'm not sure I was able to cry with all of the hyperventilating that was happening. I think you need to be able to breathe in order to cry. But my eyes did water just a little. After that, I was amazingly fine. I think it was the assurance that my friends were not going to abandon me and would not let anyone actually harm me. They would let people scare me and they might even help scare me, but no physical harm would come to me. This was proven when someone threw an ear of corn that almost took out a knee and 3 or 4 of them went into the corn to bring the little sucker to justice. Little Sucker got away though. Darn it....

I personally think all teenagers need to be trapped on an island until they can prove that they can function in society without being morons. That's a blog for another day, though.

Nothing else is really going on. I bought some wool to start the Irish Hiking Scarf. I am suspending work on Mom's Christmas blanket to work on the scarf because it will be a gift for someone.

Malakai is Trick-or-Treating tonight. He gets a reprieve just for tonight and he has to make his mask part of his costume. He and Aeden are Hershey's Hugs & Kisses. Haeleigh is a Tootsie Roll. Well... Aeden says he's a Horshey Kiss. He's cute. ;)

Well, I should let Mom and Dad have their phone lines back. Hope you all had as great a weekend as I did! :)

I Hate People Day...

2005-10-27T13:35:00.000-05:00

I'm kind of in a bad mood today. I'm having one of those "nobody loves me, everybody hates me, think I'll eat some worms" days. I just feel like everyone (with the exception of a few close friends) is lying to me and hates me and is out to get me. See I just found out that Bob is not quite as busy as he said he was. Hmmm... Another Friend told me I shouldn't assume he lied because he did say that he has to come back from out to town to attend the get-together that he and I both said we would be at. Still... I'm not going to think about it.

Paranoid much lately Mel???? [We bring you this commercial break from Mel's blog so that Mel can take her Prozac.]

I personally think that Eli Lilly & Co. should charge everyone in the city of Indianapolis a small fee and just release Prozac into the air here. That would make life a lot easier on everyone.

So in order to try to alleviate some of the paranoia, I will tell you all about cute little Aeden, my nephew. Aeden will be 4 in a couple of weeks. He's a matter of fact kind of child, too. Below is a picture of Aeden behaving, *cough*, I mean sleeping.

This would be just about the only time he quits moving, too. He's very active just like his father was. He tells everyone that I'm his friend, too. That cracks me up. I spoke with Aeden on the phone last night. The conversation went something like this....

A: Hello?

Me: Hi, Aeden. What are you doing?

A: Are you coming here to play with me, Aunt Melissa?

Me: No, it's late and I have to go to bed.

A: But I want you to play wis me.

Me: Well, I have to go to bed so I can go to work in the morning.

A: O.k. you will come here and play wis me, then go to bed and then go to work in the morning.

This was the end of the conversation because once I was given my orders, he gave the phone back to my Dad. :)

I'm done with the cute stories now. I've decided to join Knitters without Borders. It's an organization that raises money for Doctors without Borders. You, too, can join or read more about Knitters without Borders and/or donate to Doctors without Borders at http://www.yarnharlot.ca/blog/tsffaq.html. I'm going to see if I can put this link on my website permanently.

Well, I'm sorry I'm not so funny today, but "I Hate People Day" usually isn't very fun for me either. Although, I found some extra TheraFlu packets in the bottom of my purse, so maybe I can liven things up a bit. ;)

I'm not working tomorrow, but I'll be at the parents' house and can steal their phone line in order to fill you in on my car situation.

Much Tragedy at the Melissa's house...

2005-10-26T13:24:00.000-05:00

I regret to inform you that while I was sleeping last night, the heater in the fish tank exploded taking Mario & Dario with it. The only survivors were Helio and Bob. So in the last 2 weeks, I've gone from 5 fish to 2. Mario and Dario lasted a good 6 months, though and I'm proud of my accomplishment. They were good fish. I will miss them. I'm hoping Helio and Bob survive the day without warm water, though. I did not have time to go buy a new tank heater before work. So, I'm hoping they can adapt to 68 degree water. Or maybe I'll just be buying all new fish this weekend. I'll buy a few more anyway. I wouldn't want Helio and Bob to get lonely, now would I?

Besides, I need to replace Mario & Dario before my parents realize I killed their grand-fish. Yep, my Mom actually refers to them as grand-fish. I think she's given up all hope of actual grandchildren at this point.

Also on its last legs is my car. Didn't you just get your car fixed, you ask? Yep... and now it wants more attention. I think that it is asking to be retired. However, I think it is not yet it's time to die. I mean, come on... I still owe money on it! The Taurus has been good to me, though. How many cars do you know of that have seen 7 states in a year and lived to tell about it? Especially the way I drive. Seriously, your first clue should be that my fish are named after race car drivers. ;)

Much to my chagrin... not only is the Paolo family still in The Amazing Race, but they came in first place last night!!!! How does this happen? I personally wanted DJ to chicken out of the bungee jump and see Carissa do it. I think it was extremely smart of the Godlewski family to put all of their clothes on in the event that they would be asked to give up their belongings. I'm rooting for Carissa's family. I think it would be very cool if those kids won. They are great kids!

You'll all be happy to know that the TheraFlu has been banned to the top of the kitchen pantry with the Jack Daniels. This is where I put all "beverages" that are only to be used in the event of severe illness. Side Note... I did read the box more carefully and learned that Mom bought me "extra strength for severe cold" TheraFlu. Hmmm.... that explains a LOT.

I've decided that I want a digital camera. I want to be able to put pictures on here of things that happen. Don't you guys want to see Bob & Helio and what I'm knitting?

I'll have to look into this weekend. Unless of course my car performs liposuction on my finances Friday.

O.k. back to work. I would thank everyone who voted on yesterday's blog, but none of you voted. I'm feeling the love....

Later!

Funny, funny guy...

2005-10-25T13:33:00.000-05:00

O.k. God is a funny, funny guy. Guess what my devotions were about yesterday. Patience and waiting on the Lord's timing! Interesting, huh? See... I'm doing a devotional book on Women of the Bible. It takes 1 woman each week and studies her story and what we can learn from it. Last week I was sick, though and didn't finish my week because well... there was a LOT of sleeping in my life last week. We'll get into why I was sleeping so much and why TheraFlu possibly has magic mushrooms in it later....

So last night, I was finishing up my week on Sarah. Y'all know Sarah, right? She's the wife of Abraham who didn't believe God would give her a child and made her husband have a baby with her maid, etc. Sarah was the original Melissa... not that I have a maid or have ever asked any of my boyfriends to sleep with her, but I digress...

Sarah was the original me because not only did she jump the gun by making Abraham have a child with her maid, but she laughed when the Lord said he was going to fulfill her deepest desires. She thought she needed to help God along with his plan. Hmmm... Me asking Bob out was me thinking the Lord needed my help. (I'm not saying Bob is the man the Lord has for me for those of you getting ready to email me!) What I am saying is that I shouldn't have called and asked him out. If Bob wants to date me, he'll say something. How can I expect the man I want to marry to be the head of the family if I keep cutting him off before he can even try? (AGAIN... I did not say I wanted to marry Bob. That was a general comment about a possible future husband to be named BY THE LORD later.)

The second point that I learned from my devotion on Sarah last night was to stop thinking that it is utterly impossible for the Lord to find me a husband. Stop laughing at Him the way Sarah did. There's always the possibility that I won't get married and I've accepted that. However, in accepting that, I seem to have decided that the Lord isn't capable of it. I have faults... lots of them. My poor husband is going to have a lot to deal with. I'm working on being a better person, but I'm not perfect and never will be. I need to remember that the Lord will find someone that is best for me and my faults.... all of them. ;) He'll find a man that will be willing to work with me so that we compliment each other in the areas that the other is lacking.

So apparently I'm going to marry an accountant. Ha!

O.k. now I will explain why I believe that one of the major ingredients of TheraFlu is 'shrooms. If you've seen Bridget Jones' Diary 2, this will make perfect sense to you. If not, you should see it, it's hilarious!

Last night at around 3:30 a.m., I decided that sleep was just not going to happen. Since I slept all last week basically, my body must think I don't need to sleep this week. FUN! So I got up at 3:30 and went looking for something to make me sleep. I am not in the habit of taking sleeping pills, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. So the only thing I had that said "may cause drowsiness" was the TheraFlu my Mommy brought me last week. I made myself a cup and sat down to knit until it kicked in.

Now, I had read the instructions and thought to myself "Well, if you have to take it every 4 hours, it will probably only make me drowsy for about 3, right? These things usually wear off a little before the next dose." Thus, I would have been able to wake up for work by 7:30 refreshed and be on time!

WRONG! I am still high! I did wake up, was able to get ready, leave for work and am functioning, but I have a distinct light-headedness that leads me to believe that the shrooms, ummm, I mean TheraFlu is still in my system. I feel like I should be standing in the ocean in Thailand saying "look at the pretty floating lights". (<-- That was the Bridget Jones Diary reference.)

So, here's an object lesson for all of you. If you're going to take TheraFlu, make sure you will be able to sleep for a couple of days. Trust me. This is gooooood stuff! It also made me nauseaus until I ate a light lunch. So eat with it.

I did actually refer to my knitting in this post also. I'm still working on the sage green blanket for my Mommy for Christmas. (Friends who email me... yep, I said what I'm making the blanket for. Mommy doesn't know how to use the internet, much less understand what a blog is, so she'll never read this.) The blanket is coming along well and I may cast on for another project. The burgundy yarn is calling to me. It's saying "you want to knit me into another blanket." So we'll see. I'll go by the yarn shop Friday and see about another set of circular needles. You can never have to many needles. This way you can have several projects cast on so that you can have some variety in your knitting. This concludes the Melissa Rationalizing Unnecessary Purchases portion of our blog.

So, everyone put a comment on here and answer the following question... "Is Mel's blog more interesting when she's high or not?" Ha!

The Question of the Day...

2005-10-24T11:23:00.000-05:00

The question of the day is... If Melissa were given a brain, would she choose to use it? I would like to say yes, but lately all evidence points to the contrary.

In the spirit of confession and taking this screwed up situation all the way... I'm going to tell you all about my recent screw up with Bob. See I don't know Bob all that well. What I do know is that Bob is a wonderful, sweet, upstanding, Christian guy, who (up until recently) I hadn't really had much interest in because I don't know him well.

I did think, though, that I knew someone who would be perfect for him. Here's where our story begins....

Once upon a time (about 2 weeks ago) , I decided that a certain friend of mine was perfect for Bob. Now being me... I thought that I would do some "research" to make sure that no one was going to get hurt or upset with me about this. Right...

My friend has a special requirement when it comes to dating and I wasn't sure what Bob's position on said requirement was. So I asked a couple of friends who knew him. They weren't sure. See, apparently, said requirement had never come up in Bob's dating life. Now for those of you thinking, "Oh Mel, you didn't." Oh ya, I did. I got the bright idea to ask Bob about said requirement. It went something like this:

Melissa: "If I ask you something, can you answer me without asking why I need to know?"

Bob: "Ummm sure."

Melissa: [asks about said requirement in general manner]

Bob: "Ummm... I've not really ever had to deal with [requirement]..." I won't bore you with the rest of it because it's kind of personal to the friend and Bob. I also don't have any more room for feet in this mouth at the moment.

Long story short... I decided that, based on Bob's answer to the vague question about the requirement, fixing these two up might not be the best idea.

O.k. so only minimal damage done, right? Well, I'm not done. See, during my "research", I kind of decided that I wanted to know more about Bob for me. And that's when I first mentioned Bob in this website.

So I talked to my friend and she said that it was fine that I was interested in Bob for me and was encouraging me to go ahead. What I failed to remember was the conversation above. I've come to realize lately that espionage is not one of my strong suits. I also failed to tell my friend about the conversation above. So, do we think that Bob may have picked up on the fact that I had someone in mind to fix up with him? If he has half a brain he does and trust me, Bob has half a brain. Bob has a brain and a half. He's really smart.

So this weekend, Friend and I go to a party together and Bob is there. Bob is sitting alone when we show up, so I go sit next to him. I've decided to be brave and get to know Bob. Usually when I'm interested in a guy, I can't talk to him. I ignore him to the point that he thinks that I hate him. That's not a good way of doing things, so I decided to just get to know him as a friend. So we're sitting there talking to Bob. It's going pretty well. Friend and I are being a little goofy, but it was all in good fun.

Then I go and mention [said special requirement] to Friend in hearing range of Bob. And it never occurred to me that I did. Yep... I'm still not remembering the conversation that Bob and I had a couple of weeks before. This didn't occur to me until the next day when Friend pointed it out to me after I confessed that I had had the conversation with him. (And yes, Friend and I are still friends. I apologized 4 times, I think.)

Friend and I had a good time at the party and went home. The next day, I woke up with the severe migraine and stayed in bed most of the day. Being alone in my home gave me too much time to think and I came up with a brilliant plan of asking Bob to go somewhere with me that we had talked about at the party. So I call Different Friend and get Bob's phone number.

[Do you have any idea how long it's going to take me to stop referring to these people in this manner in my head? I just hope I don't slip and say it out loud!]

I call Bob and ask if he wants to go to the place with me on Friday because I happen to have the day off of work. (Bob works for the government and therefore has more days off than he actually has to work.) He already has plans and is booked up all weekend. That's pretty much the whole conversation. I call Friend and talk to her about it and I decide that I've now screwed up.

So me actually dating Bob at this point would take an act of God to bring about I think. Which, since I believe in acts of God, means there is some hope. Unfortunately, God may be thinking "oy, she screwed up again!?" and decide to leave me be for a while. Who knows? He's God and He can do what He wants when He wants. I have a feeling, though, that whenever my mouth opens God smacks himself in the forehead and says "Doh!"

So the answer to the question of "If Melissa were given a brain, would she choose to use it?" is...

APPARENTLY NOT!!

I hope you all had a great weekend! Love you bye bye!

Weekend update...

2005-10-23T21:50:00.000-05:00

This weekend was extremely busy. I don't think I've been in bed before midnight since Thursday. Kelly and I had movie night Friday night and were up until 2 a.m. Then Saturday, I visited the Indiana State Museum with my Mom. That night was a Halloween party.

This morning I woke up with a severe migraine. I couldn't open my right eye, my shoulders and back hurt. I couldn't handle light or noise until about 4 p.m. I hate getting migraines. I don't get very many, but when I do they're bad. Usually, they have to do with my allergies. I'm allergic to Christmas. Yep, I said I'm allergic to Christmas. Well, most of the symbols of it anyway. Christmas trees, articial cinnamon scent and the weather change are all things that I wonder if I'm going to survive every year.

BTW, what exactly do those stupid cinnamon scented pine cones have to do with Christmas. I won't be able to grocery shop or go to Wal-Mart until January! Those things just about kill me every time.

Well, I did see Bob this weekend. It's not going to happen, though. Mostly because I'm a moron. See instead of waiting on the Lord, I just asked him out. Ya, probably not my brighest move. I have some kind of dating retardation I've decided. Oh well...

So I am now trying to decide which convent to join. I'm giving up. Yep... again. ;)

Later!

Trapped in my Office...

2005-10-21T18:00:00.000-05:00

I am trapped in my office by a crazy person. The attorneys are in a telephone conference and the man will not leave until he sees one of them. See... my office is right off the lobby. So no matter which way I walk out my door, I have to go through the lobby, sort of. I can be seen by people in the lobby anyway.

The man in the lobby was sent over to us by the Indiana Civil Liberties Union. Remind me to send them a Thank You Note! He's been told by Legal Services that they won't represent him anymore because he brings too many frivolous lawsuits in. He also wants to sue the police department for making him go to Wishard when he fainted. I have a feeling he's well known at Wishard and police dispatch.

He's not planning on leaving anytime soon either. He has headphones and food. He could be here a while. This could be a stand-off. I might still be stuck here tomorrow! I think I have soup in my desk. Although, a lot of good it does me when I can't get to the microwave!!

O.k. I need to try to do some work and hope that I don't need to use the restroom soon. I would have to walk through the lobby for that!

No eye contact.... don't make eye contact.

The Perfect Age to Have Children

2005-10-21T13:27:00.000-05:00

For a couple of days now, whenever I log onto MSN to get into my Hotmail, I've seen this article called "The Perfect Age to Have Children." I know what some of you are thinking. "Oh, Mel, please tell me you didn't read it." While I did abstain for several days, the curiosity overwhelmed me today and I felt a distinct need to know if I've surpassed the prime child-bearing years yet.

And I have! Woo hoo! Apparently, not only is the nation's standard age for having the first child 25, but physically it's also the best age. Actually they said early 20's. Now, the article pointed out the pros and cons of having children in your 20's, 30's and 40's. Each had pros and each had cons. The cons of having children at that age is emotional/mental and financial stability, to para-phrase. Early 30's was still good, too. And in the early 30's your emotional and financial situations are a little better. That gave me some hope.

At 35, though, you start to run into needing extra testing and increased risk of Down's Syndrome, etc. At 40, the chances are really bad. In your 40's, you apparently don't get morning sickness, though, because your body has stopped producing the hormone that causes that. Hmmm... that sounds like a bonus if I've ever heard one.

All in all, the article was positive about women having babies at any age that they feel comfortable with adequate medical supervision. However, since I'm me, I will of course be obsessing about the fact that I surpassed the prime child-bearing age 5 YEARS AGO! FIVE! I didn't think it was that bad yet. Geez... why not just give me a hysterectomy and start me on hormone therapy now!

O.k... taking the Prozac and moving on....

On Survivor... (wow that Prozac kicks in fast, doesn't it?) Margaret got the boot just as I predicted. Judd showed just how immature and boorish he can be. He interrrupted Jeff! That's not real smart, dude. Not that Jeff can vote, but if you want to be called back for the next All-Stars, calm down! Margaret, dear, there's something to be said for playing along and not letting your disappointment get the best of you. (Ironic that I'M giving this advice, don't you think?) You should have at least tried to play nice with your new tribe. You kind of did this to yourself, girl.

Brian got kicked off the other tribe? Why? I completely didn't see that coming. They're going to miss him when they need brains to win a challenge. On the other hand, smart move because he was a very strong opponent and it was probably smart to boot him early. Amy was impressive with her ability to suck it up. Although, I'm thinking she's going to have some lasting problems with that ankle if it's not allowed to heal properly. (Ya, because I'm a doctor.)

Eharmony news... Adam and I are at "open communication." Although, I haven't heard from him today. No worries. I'm sure he'll write back eventually. Maybe the Lord read yesterday's post and realized that me and my big mouth were not a good match for a Pastor. Who knows?

No "Bob" news.

Well, I should get back to work. Not that I really feel able to work today. It's a crappy weather day. Cold and rainy. Although, I was kind of excited because I have cute clothes for this kind of weather that I haven't gotten to wear yet. Wow, that sounded shallow. ;)

O.k. I hope you all have a good weekend! I'll be back on Sunday! ;) Hasta la Pizza!

Truck driving school....

2005-10-20T13:25:00.000-05:00

I'm kind of having a bad day. Maybe it's the hair. Maybe this is what people call a "bad hair day". The hair is short and brown again. Cute, though. I do like it. I have to curl it. Arg! Most of you know that I'm a low-maintenance morning girl. I need a hairstyle that can dry on its own basically. This is cute, though, and not THAT hard to do so we'll see.

My boss is driving me insane today. There's a problem with our computers and instead of just letting the "techies" take care of it, he's decided that we need to trouble shoot it. Now, I have a small amount of computer knowledge. I can tell the computer guy what I think is happening so that he can fix it and I'm o.k. at that. My boss is a "tinker-er" though and thinks he knows a great deal about computers when he really doesn't. He just makes things worse. So I was working on a very, very simple problem today and he comes in and gets right in the middle of it. Literally! He literally was talking over me while I was on the phone with the tech. I could neither hear the tech nor him. He also thought he knew what the issue was and was making a big deal out of how I was working on the wrong problem. See... he was supposed to be in a client meeting. He didn't even know what I was doing. O.k. I'm not going to get into it. I'm just going to move on and ignore him to the best of my abilities.... luckily after he made the whole matter worse, he left for a meeting and won't be back for hours.

"Mav, do you have the number of that truck driving school. I might need it."

The news for today....

On Eharmony, I am corresponding with Adam. He is a pastor who also owns his own graphic design company in Charlotte, NC. He's 30. I am praying about him. I do not, so far, have any objections to him. Well, the pastor thing. I'm still trying to decide if it's a good idea for me and my big mouth to be a pastor's wife. So far I have avoided dating pastors for this reason. BUT, since this is not about what I want and is all about what HE (the Lord - not Adam) wants, I am praying about it. And I will actually listen to the Lord and try not to argue with Him. I said "try" for those of you who are laughing at me right now. ;)

"Bob" news... haven't seen "Bob"... haven't talked to "Bob". Maybe this weekend. I'll let ya know!

Tonight is Survivor night. Many of you know that my phone will be off between the hours of 8 and 9 p.m. tonight. I will be knitting and yelling at my t.v. Who do I want off tonight? Well, I get 2 picks because if you watched the previews, tonight both tribes are going to tribal council and it's a double elimination night. Woo hoo!!! :) So here's what I'm thinking. Amy is supposed to get hurt... AGAIN. So as much as I love her and want her to win it all, I think she'll end up going for her tribe. On the other tribe, I can't decide. On the one hand, Margaret gets on my nerves. On the other, I'm tired of hearing Steph whine. So either of those 2 would be fine with me, but I think it will be Margaret. Steph has too many people on her side right now thanks to Judd.

Wow, I've thought way too much about Survivor. That's kind of pathetic. And no, I'll never apply to be on the show. Me and bugs??? Never mind the no eating, lack of coffee, having to do physical activity in the heat and not having a comfortable bed to sleep in... the bugs alone would have me quitting the first day! I'm from the city, people. We spray for nature!

For those wondering, Malakai is doing well. Now that we have complete and total remission, we are all breathing normally again. ;) He even has permission to go Trick-or-Treating as long as he works his mask into his costume and switches out certain candies that he's not allowed to have. He's getting a little bored having to be in the house all the time, but he'll live and that's the most important part. He's starting to grow some hair back to match those eyebrows of his, too. :)

Well, kids... I guess that's all I have for you today! Hope you are all having a wonderful day! :)

The Weirdness...

2005-10-19T11:59:00.000-05:00

O.k. I am back at work today. Yesterday, right after I hit "Post" on this blog, I did exactly what I said I wanted to do. I went home and put Jammies on! My Mommy brought me TheraFlu and Excedrin Migraine and I had me a little party! (Well, until I fell asleep I did, anyway.)

I feel a little bit better today. I think, though, that there will be more drugs and more sleeping tonight after my hair appointment. Yes, that's right, kids... the hair comes off tonight. It's going to turn brown, too. Strange how it can do that all on its own.... hmmmm.....

So I was reading my favorite blog this morning while drinking my coffee and she was talking about her idiosyncracies... and it was HILARIOUS! You can read it too at http://www.crazyauntpurl.com. So I thought I would give you a few of my idiosyncracies. What? Mel has idiosyncracies? Blasphemy!!! Nope, I actually do. So here they are....

#1 I hate asking people personal questions. Some of you may just think that I'm extremely self-centered and don't care about you, but that's not true. I want to know things. I just hate prying. So I won't ask. Occasionally, when the Prozac has been taken regularly and I'm able to function normally in society, I will ask and I will find out a lot about all of you that I've been dying to know for quite a while. BUT, only on those rare days will I be unafraid of offending you. For the most part, I just assume that if you wanted me to know, you'd tell me.

#2 I actually do that childish thing where I put my fingers in my ears and hum when you're telling me something I don't want to know. I will play it off as if I was kidding, but usually I'm not kidding. Now... I only do this when you're telling me something related to sex or child birth. We won't talk about that idiosyncracy.

#3 I don't eat tomatoes. I can't get past the idea that they're slimy. For that matter, I don't eat anything slimy. This includes all kind of beans, especially refried. This will also go to not eating anything that the slimy food was touching. So if there are tomatoes on my salad, any piece of lettuce that touched the tomato will be taken out of the salad also. NO SLIMY-NESS.

#4 I don't talk first thing in the morning. This probably has something to do with the fact that I live alone and don't actually have to talk to anyone until around 9 a.m. at the earliest. So if for some reason you see me right after I wake up and I just wave at you, that's about as good as it gets.

#5 I refuse to date men named Brian or John. Brian because I know entirely too many of them. My brother is named Brian, the guy who cuts my grass is Brian, and 3 of my friends are married to guys named Brian. It's just getting WAY too confusing. John because I have an ex-boyfriend by that name who was a complete jerk and several of my friends have exes named John that were jerks. If you are named John and are not a jerk, I would suggest going by Jonathan. The rest of your name-sakes are making life hard on you.

So I think that's about all I should give away for now.

Updates, the Paolo family is still on The Amazing Race despite all of my cheering to the contrary. AND... The Race still hasn't left the US yet, although, the previews promise they will next week. So far, really boring show. They actually ran around a mobile home park last night. Woo hoo...

No Eharmony or "Bob" news. I might see "Bob" this weekend, so we'll see what happens. If there's news, I'll let ya know!

Have a good Wednesday people! :)

Tuesday...

2005-10-18T13:47:00.000-05:00

I have no unique title for today's post. I'm having kind of a crappy day. First, I have the hugest cold sore known to mankind on my lip. It is inside the lip and goes all the way down to my teeth. If I stick my lip out, it literally sticks up above my top lip. It's huge. Last night, I actually couldn't talk normally because of it. I think it's starting to go away, though. Which is good because I was afraid it would start taking over my face soon.

The half cold isn't quite as bad today, but I still feel tired and crabby. I'm seriously considering going home. I want to go put Jammies on and knit. That's all I want to do today. Knit in my jammies. I'll give it another hour.

Tomorrow all of the hair comes off. I have an appointment at 6:30 and I've basically decided that it's time. I will no longer have long red hair. I will have short brown hair. Why? You ask... Because it's time for a change. Because I feel like all I ever do with my hair is put it in a pony tail of some sort.

No dating news... thank goodness! I don't think I could handle it today! :)

O.k. sorry this is short, but I feel like I need to go home, lay down and beg God to take me Home now.

Shoot me now, please...

2005-10-17T11:16:00.000-05:00

I have half a cold today. Yes, half. See... this cold that I keep trying to get never aspires to be a full blown cold. It just gives me have a headache that makes me wish my head would explode and get it over with and my nose is a little runny. Not enough to be called a real cold. So I have dubbed it the "half cold".

What I would like to do is go home, go to bed and sleep until one of 2 things happens...

A. This half cold goes away. OR

B. This half cold actually gets up enough nerve to go for the gold and become a real live cold that I won't feel guilty calling in sick for. See, this morning I seriously considered calling in sick. The thought of my co-workers seeing my head explode and my brains plastered all over my office was just not appealing. (Nice visual during lunch, don't you think?)

However, being raised by The General, I cannot call in sick unless I have a fever, am throwing up (or it's cousin), I'm in the hospital and/or a medical expert has declared me unfit to be in public for fear of exposing the entire population to whatever I have. Since, I have none of those... I am at work. I'm eating Egg Drop Soup again and contemplating going home and going to bed. (See God Bless the Chinese...)

So now that you know how I feel today, I will give you all of the news.

First, in preparation for my trip to NY to see Meg, her husband asked Mr. T if he received my e-mail. He did not. This would explain the lack of response. However, if expressed no desire to write me or have me send the email do a different address, so I'm assuming that he isn't interested. Which will make avoiding him all the easier. He knows I'm coming now, too. Meg made a point of mentioning it in his presence. No response from Mr. T. This was predictable, though, since his other nickname is "Ghandi". See, he has a habit of just smiling politely so that you never know what he's actually thinking about anything. So Ghandi/Mr. T won't be a problem. Good.

I say good because I'm praying about a certain man that will remain name-less. We will call him Bob. Bob is someone I know. Bob is a strong Christian. Bob has a good job. Bob is good looking without being overly good looking. Bob is humble. Bob is funny. Bob is tall & blonde, which is apparently a requirement for all men I date according to Meg. So I am praying about Bob. Interest in Bob is at a level I will refer to as "Mild Curiosity." This is a level that requires prayer, but isn't really romantic interest yet. Let's just say, I need to get to know Bob a little better. And I'm working on that. I want to see what the Lord thinks of the idea of me and Bob. I'll keep you posted. ;)

Eharmony is at a level I will refer to as "Morbid Curiosity". At this level, I will check my mail, but have no real interest in whether any of the people write me or not. Ghandi/Mr. T is at Morbid Curiosity interest level, too.

I finally killed a fish this weekend. Big & Ugly died. I came home last night to find him dead in his tank. He was the big sucker fish that cleaned the tank. I think the Mario, Helio, Dario & Bob just couldn't produce enough dirt for him. He was always moving around trying to find his next meal. I think I'll get a smaller sucker fish next time. For now, let's have a moment of silence for Big & Ugly. He was a good fish. The entire month he was in my life was a good month. The tank has never been so clean.

On that note... I must go either work or go home to die quietly. I'll let you know tomorrow what happened. If I'm here, I will, anyway. Maybe Half Cold will work it's way up in the world. Who knows?!

Have a great day!

Slacker Sunday...

2005-10-16T17:30:00.000-05:00

So this morning when I woke up, 2 things were different. The first was that I woke to a little boy yelling "Mom!" The 2nd, I wasn't in my house. I forgot that I crashed at Kelly's house. Her little boy woke up at 7 a.m. and started calling for her to get him out of his crib.

Now... saying I'm not a morning person would be an understatement. I live alone. I've lived alone for about 6 years. No one is talking at my house at 7 a.m.! Usually no one is there and even if I'm up before 7 a.m., I'm under water where no one talks to me. I don't actually have to talk to anybody before 9 a.m. on any given day of any year. Unless I'm at my Grandmother's, but that's a blog for a whole other day.

I'm not saying that hearing people talk bothered me. I'm just saying I'm not used to it. Kelly and the little boy were so cute. Some day I'd like to be that cute with my kids.

BUT... I was still tired. So I opted to head up to my Mom and Dad's house and lay down for a little while before church. BIG MISTAKE! I woke up from my nap about 10 minutes before Sunday School was supposed to start. So I call Kelly and let her know I'll make it to worship service. I look at the clock and think "I have an extra 1/2 hour. I'll lay back down." Yet another BIG MISTAKE! At 11:00 a.m., the lady across the street calls and wakes me up to make sure it's my car in the driveway and not a burgler or something. (Side note - my parents house was broken into last week.) I realize that I've missed the first 1/2 hour of worship service and could not possibly get there short of owning my own time machine. So I go back to sleep.

At NOON, Kelly leaves me a voice mail and says "Ya... church is over and you're still not here." Oops... The call woke me up, though. I went and met Kelly and her parents at Bellacino's and had pizza with them. Now I'm back and I haven't done much.

So today is Slacker Sunday... and while I'm enjoying it, I wish I would have gone to church.

So everyone have a great day!

God Bless the Chinese...

2005-10-14T13:26:00.000-05:00

I have decided today that Egg Drop Soup is the most wonderful food on the Earth. For $1.50 or so (depending on where you get it), it can cure the sniffles, cramps, a bad day or just warm you up when you're chilly. I love this stuff. So God Bless the Chinese.

The crazy cleanliness continued last night. I cleaned the living room, kitchen and bathroom. I also put together a lasagna to be baked tonight. I was extremely productive. My Mom would have been proud if she was there to witness it. It turns out the top of my kitchen table is a light oak color. It had been a while since I'd seen it, so I was wondering.

My house looks really nice. Maybe I should invite everyone over to see it this weekend and kill all birds with 1 stone. Then it can be messy for another year or so and we'll do it again next year! Ha!

Actually, I'm going to have knitting night once a month so that I have an excuse to clean my house. Yep, I need an excuse. See, if it's just me, I don't care what the house looks like. I only need so much space and so piles of things I swear I'll deal with later can pile up in the rest of the space.

Until I decide to invite people over... then there's about 3 days of cleaning involved. So I'm thinking if I have them over once a month, then I'll just be motivated to keep it clean. We'll see how this works.

Survivor update... Blake got voted off. If you hadn't seen it yet, I'm sorry. I was glad to see him go, though. He was getting annoying. Shallow people tend to bug me. I loved that Brian saw the opportunity to help Blake make himself more annoying and took it. That was great! Brian cracks me up. I like Amy, though, to win it. I doubt she will, but that's who I hope wins.

A new guy wrote me on EHarmony. We'll see. I'm not so sure about him.

Well, that's about it today. Nothing really exciting. Hope you all have a good weekend!

Martha I am not...

2005-10-13T13:49:00.000-05:00

I cleaned my bedroom last night and it threw off my entire little world. I cleaned it, too, buddy. Even under the bed. I woke up this morning to a surreal universe of cleanliness and it threw my entire day off!!

I didn't know where anything was. My keys had fallen off the stand where I keep them and it took 15 minutes to find them. I wasn't sure what to wear and couldn't look at the floor to see what I wore yesterday to avoid wearing the same color scheme 2 days in a row. (Yes, I actually make sure I don't look exactly the same all the time. Or at least I attempt it.) I ended up being 10 minutes late to work! All because I cleaned my room last night. Weird.

It seems, though, that I'm not alone in this bad day. I think my whole office is having a bad day. Except Amanda, who may have never had a bad day in her entire life. I'll have to ask her about that.

So I've decided to tell you what I would do today if I were independently wealthy.

First... since the Maid would have cleaned everything and set out what I was going to wear today, I would get up, take a shower and get dressed. I would then drink coffee and watch the Today Show.

Next I would go to my coffee shop/knitting store and check in with the manager to see how things are going. I would even possibly help out by clearing tables, talking to customers, helping them pick out yarn/patterns and making coffee. Yep, that's right, in a perfect world, I would own my own knitting store/coffee shop.

My store would be comprised of 3 rooms. There would be 2 doors and 2 cashiers. 1 door would go straight into the coffee shop. I would like this to be cafe style and have little tables/booths. I would serve simple sandwiches, pie, etc. I have to admit the coffee shop side would work a little like Starbucks. Order and pick up your coffee and then go have a sit. O.k. a lot like Starbucks. They've just managed to corner that market, K?

The other door would open into the yarn store. There would be bins of all kinds of yarns and tables where you could sit and knit/crochet. I would have classes, too. It would look and be run like most yarn stores. Nothing out of the ordinary yet, right.

The middle room could be accessed through either the coffee shop or the yarn store. It would look like your living room. There would be couches with end and coffee tables. No t.v., though. I'd have newspapers out to be read and books that could be purchased. You could either sit and knit or just sit and drink coffee. You could meet a group of friends for coffee or knitting.

See, the purpose of having it divided into 3 rooms is that I don't want to lose customers who only like 1 thing or the other. Coffee or yarn. Coffee drinkers could go into their side and knitters into theirs. Then if you like both, you have the option of the middle room. Buy your yarn, go get some coffee and then start your project in the middle room.

O.k. after I visit my store and see how things are going. I would take my husband some lunch. (Yep, in my perfect world, I'm married.) Then I would go swim laps and head home. I would have the maid get ready for dinner and I would play with my kids once they came home from school. I would take the kids to whatever activities they had that day after dinner. Then once the kids were in bed, I would watch the news and knit and talk about things with my husband.

That's the perfect day. Ya, I noticed that I didn't really have a job, too. I said perfect, didn't I?

Well, since today is not my perfect day and I'm in my surreal "clean bedroom" universe, I better get back to work.

I hope you all have a perfect day!!! :)

Sadness...

2005-10-12T13:47:00.000-05:00

Today I am sad. I came to the realization last night that my best friend is actually moving to Germany in less than a month. She doesn't exactly live close now, but still. With the miracle of cell phones, I can call her anytime I want for free. Those days will be no more once she gets to Germany.

She'll be gone for 3 years. 3 whole long years. Her husband is in the military and they are being stationed over there. I will be adding this to my list of reasons to annialate the husband-type people from the Earth. They keep taking my friends away!

So today I am not happy. I don't want her to go. I tried telling her that they moved Germany to Southern Indiana, but she didn't buy it. I kind of knew she wouldn't. She's smart like that.

In 2 weeks, I will be traveling North to visit her. We will have 2 whole days of Girls Nights before the move. I will also spend 2 whole days trying to avoid her husband's friend, whom I will refer to as Mr. T. She will know who he is. Some of the rest of you might know who he is. I decided I can't like him. Even a little. He's not a Christian. Plus, he's getting deployed to Afghanistan some time soon. PLUS... he's from a state in New England that will be not be mentioned. I have no objections to this state in general, but I don't think it's a place I have a burning desire to either visit or live. Mr. T wants to return there after he becomes a civilian and that's not good. It doesn't have a major city and possibly no Starbucks, so I'm out. Trust me... I looked it up.

If you're wondering what the water lillies have to do with my sadness... I just thought some pretty flowers would make me happy. It's working... a little.

Updates... no EHarmony news and no song stuck in my head. I am frustrated that the Paolo family has still not been eliminated from The Amazing Race and that they haven't left the country. So much for that race around the world. So far, it's a race around the Eastern United States. Boring.

Well, I better get back to work. That's apparently what I'm here for. Hasta la bye-bye!

Juan Valdez is my hero...

2005-10-11T12:22:00.000-05:00

I could NOT sleep last night! For some reason, I tossed and turned until about right before my alarm went off. So needless to say, I do not have the same problem I had yesterday. The picture to the left is how I felt coming to work this morning. I get to work at 9 a.m. and get my first cup of coffee. It's now 10:30 and the Hamilton Beach 12 cup coffee maker has already been refilled.

I'm not the only coffee drinker in this office, but I have a feeling I was a big part of the endeavor to drain that sucker in about an hour.

All of that was leading up to my apology for this not being my funniest or best blog. I will not be submitting this to Comedy Central as part of my audition. Frankly, I don't even want to be on Comedy Central today. I just want to go to bed.

So here are the updates... Officer Patrick closed communication with me yesterday after reviewing "Must Haves/Can't Stands". His reason: "Too big of a difference in our values." My values all listed things like being committed to church, family, God, etc. His were things like "wanting someone who is considered extremely attractive to the outside world." Hmmm... ya, I'd say he's right. The funny part was that right before he "closed communication", he sent me his picture.

Now you would think that someone who is going to be picky about how others look, would look like... oh, George Clooney? Ummmm... No. This guy looked like Drew Carey with dark hair. Don't get me wrong, I didn't find him ugly. I just didn't think that he was in a position to be judging anyone else on physical appearance. And if you're wondering if maybe I'm just mad that he closed me out... nope, I got a second opinion. My co-worker Amanda came and looked at his picture and agreed that he had no room to talk.

So Officer Patrick... I agree with you and thank you! I actually feel better knowing that I don't have the same values as you! :)

I'm trying to think of other news... but I just can't right now. I'm tired... I'm going to go get more coffee.

Back away from the caffeine Mel...

2005-10-10T11:21:00.000-05:00

Today I am hyper. I'm not quite sure why. I've had the normal amount of caffeine. 3 cups of coffee. Now, maybe it's the fact that I had them all in the span of about 45 minutes, I don't know. But I do know that I can barely sit still. This is a problem because my job requires me to be able to sit still for hours! 8 to be exact! So I am now drinking water and predicting withdrawal symptoms to start around 2 p.m.

Aside from my little buzz... I'm having a very good day. I only swam 800 yards this morning, but given that I skipped on Friday had very little physical activity yesterday, the muscles just couldn't take another 200 yards. I will kick this up next time I go. I swear.

I actually spoke to Monday Morning Lifeguard today. Just out of curiosity and the fact that I felt somewhat hyper before I swam. I was doing kickboard and noticed him falling asleep so I started talking. See, I kind of feel bad for MML. It must be hard to get up at 4:30 on Monday morning! I did ask MML's age. 20. To which I replied... "too bad. My niece is only 15." Ya, good save Mel. I'm sure he bought that...

The reason I felt so free to speak... I was the only person in the water for the 1st 10 minutes of my workout! :) This is how I would prefer it every day, but I have no expectations of it happening again. After that, the very sweet little lady who can't hear came. She reminds of the meatball lady from The Wedding Singer. Love her. And just about the time I was done, a 3rd person showed up. However, none of these are the usual suspects who are at lap swimming. I'm wondering if they called a day off and I wasn't informed. Well, I took mine Friday anyway.

In Eharmony news... Officer Patrick responded to my initial questions. I responded to his and I'm back to waiting... Woo hoo! You gotta love internet dating.

Weirdness of the day... Dick's Bodacious BBQ just put up fencing so you can eat outside. Timing? Hello?

O.k. that's all I have for you today. No songs stuck in my head today. Probably too much caffeine to focus on just one. I'll try to do better tomorrow.

Hasta la pizza!

Weekend Update...

2005-10-10T10:51:00.000-05:00

This is for you Kel.... ;)

O.k. This is the weekend update. I was supposed to write this yesterday, but alas... I never got out of pajamas. For those of you thinking "Slacker!"... I did do about 9 loads of laundry. Yes, 9 loads and I'm looking for the person who is dumping extra laundry at my house. I mean, seriously! I live alone... do I really have that much clothing?!

I feel compelled to tell you that I am very, very glad to be an adult after this weekend. See... I was headed to my parents Friday night to pick up some of my stuff. When I called them, they informed me they were on their way to my high school's football game with some friends and asked if I wanted to come. Sure, why not? I hadn't been to a game in years! Well... now I know why! These people are insane!!! First, they changed just about everything from the way it was when I was there. They put in new bleachers, built new buildings, and the scoreboard is on the other end of the field! When did that happen?! Next, the kids have changed. I literally saw a girl who couldn't be 15 walk past in a spandex mini skirt and fish net hose! When did they allow prostitution at the high school football game?! I tell you what... when I have a teenage daughter, I plan on locking her in the basement until she's 25!

Other happenings this weekend... I saw Madagascar and The Dukes of Hazzard at the $1 theater. Both good. I knitted a LOT yesterday during the laundry extravaganza. I bought several things for Mom's Christmas stocking.

Well, I think that's all for the weekend update. Stay tuned for the normal Monday entry, which I will write during lunch and find out if Officer Patrick wrote me back, how old Monday morning lifeguard is and whether or not he stayed awake during this morning's swim.

Have an awesome day people!

Self-control isn't an issue...

2005-10-07T02:03:00.000-05:00

I simply don't have any! I have some disease that whenever I walk into Old Navy, I must buy something!!! Now today, I did go in with a noble mission. Black pants for work. I knew what kind I wanted and that they were on sale. Of course, they didn't have any in my size. BUT... while I was looking for the black pants that I really, really need, I found a pair of brown dress pants and a striped blouse that were on sale. I decided I NEEDED them.... and now I have them. Happy, happy, joy, joy....

This is why it is a blessing that I am not married. I never have to hear "Honey.... why did you spend $60 on yarn?" "Did you really need another pair of shoes?" I don't have to make excuses. Now, granted, I'm not a really bad shopper. I only buy things that are needed and never at full price. Well.... yarn maybe, but we won't go there. I'm referring to clothing, shoes, random things from the mall... Ladies, you know what I'm talking about.

The only issue with all of this shopping is that I'm buying a size that I don't plan on staying in. I started swimming again with the express goal of losing weight. So of course while I'm trying on the cute new outfit, my first thought was "Well if you would have gotten up to swim like you were supposed to, you might be in the next size down." As if 1 day of swimming will solve all of my weight problems. Still, I should have gotten up. I simply slept through the alarm. I don't believe there was a conscious decision to skip the work out this morning. I just heard the alarm and kept on dozing. Hmmm... I need a louder alarm. Or maybe I should just accept the weight I am now and try not to get bigger. Ha! That was funny.

O.k. the "resolution" for today... get up for swimming Monday, stop shopping (I crack me up!), and eat healthier. Noble ideas... we'll see which ones work out.

Well, my boss is back from his hearing and doesn't look happy, so I better get to work. Lunch hours are supposed to only last an hour. Who knew?!

Go Team!!!!

2005-10-06T13:22:00.000-05:00

Today's theme comes from my absolutely adorable and "helpful" co-worker Amanda. See, Amanda is always happy. I strive to be more like Amanda. I have yet to figure out where this happiness comes from. Do we not live in the same world??? Does she not have problems, a family, the same clients I do? The answers to those questions are Yes, yes, yes and sort of. We handle different clients for the same attorneys, but the same issues and quirks come up with those clients. We occasionally do the "who's client is crazier today" comparison. (And for the record, I see no signs that she's snorting cocaine under her desk or anything... this happiness is just natural for her. WEIRD!)

So Amanda, my consistently smiley co-worker, is trying to bring me into her world today. You see, my adorable 7 year old nephew is about to endure one of the most painful and torturous procedures that the medical community has ever invented. A Spinal Tap. They will not only give him a local anesthetic, but a mind erasing drug and this will still not stamp out the pain that he will feel. There is a possibility that his Leukemia is coming back and they have to do this test to find out for sure. They HAVE TO. They need to find another way, in my opinion, but they don't listen to me.

So Amanda has made it her mission today to keep me happy apparently. She started this morning, by running into my office and doing some kind of funny little cheerleader move and say "Go Team!" This has become the theme of the day and we are both doing it now. We will continue to do it until an attorney tells us that he's going to call a mental health facility on us if we don't quit. Which they might... you never quite know with them.

So now that we know what's on my mind today and how I'm trying to cope with it, I'm going to move on to other topics. I would say more about Kai, but the results won't be back until Monday so there's no point in getting maudlin' over it right now.

The song stuck in my head today would be.... "Redneck Yacht Club". I find redneck songs absolutely hilarious and was very glad that this song is stuck instead of Rascal Flatt's song "Skin." If you want to know about the song, go here... http://www.rascalflatts.com There you will find all the information you need about the song that took me a full 3 weeks to be able to listen to all the way through without crying.

Redneck Yacht Club is funny because it refers to a "floatin' trailer park." Love that line.

I also brought my knitting in to work on during lunch. However, I forgot that I write this during lunch, so there will most likely be no knitting. I did get to show the co-workers the blanket, though and found out that the receptionist is a knitter also. Cool!

In EHarmony news... I have been "matched" to a Patrick from Noblesville. He is 27 and works in law enforcement. Now many of you are aware of my dating history with the law enforcement community in general. I tend to abstain at this point from dating the boys in blue. Two people with such strong feelings about being "in charge" of things just should not try to date. Many friends have pointed out to me lately that my list of unacceptable things in men tends to rule out the entire race and should maybe be pared down to a few "must haves". So Patrick may actually get a chance. We'll see. Maybe Patrick will "close communication" with me before I can decide. Hard to say. It is kind of weird that I can take the information "Patrick, 27, works in law enforcement, is 6'2" and has a dog" and instantly find him unacceptable. I will give you that.

O.k. if I try hard I can get 1 row of knitting in before I'm done with my lunch hour. Have a great day kids and try not to work too hard!

GO TEAM!!!!

Heeeeere's Mel!

2005-10-05T02:19:00.000-05:00

O.k. So those of you who know me (and that would be just about every one of you since I'm pretty sure I'm not that famous) know that I have some pretty odd opinions of the world. You also know that I have the ability wax eloquent for hours about those opinions. It has recently come to my attention or at least my realization that you might not have time for me to hand down my wisdom individually over the phone every night. So until I get my own Comedy Central show... I'm going to give my take on life here. That way you can read it if you like and for those of you who stopped taking my calls... you will know that when I do call you I will have a point. Well, for the most part I will anyway....

As an introduction, I thought I would give you a couple of topics that will most likely get discussed. This way you know if you ever want to read this again.

1. Dating.... surprise, surprise...
2. The people I meet at lap swimming and why they should not share a lane with me.
3. Knitting... yes... I'm not yet 30 and I knit. Get over it. I think your Gramma learned when she was young, too.
4. Strange health problems of my Mother... example... why she thinks that chewing gum causes sores in her ears.
5. Weird happenings in my world... most of you know that this topic varies greatly.
6. General frustrations. I will try not to be tooo bitter. See also Topic Number 1.....
7. And most days I will clue you in on the "Song that's stuck in my head." Todays song is "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off." I find that song absolutely hilarious.

I will also give Malakai updates. You can also still get Malakai updates at http://www.caringbridge.com Just click on Visit a Site and type in "malakaismiracle". While Rheagan doesn't update it every day right now, she is hitting the days when he has clinic visits and/or there's news. That's about every 3rd day or so. :) Be sure to look at the pictures of his cool room, too.

O.k. kids... that's all for now! I'll catch ya later! :)